wild bear cub, riding with sara.
Level of Lucidity: N/A Level of Cohesiveness:
Rating:
Lucid Intent? No
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I had moved to Colorado and had a house and property in the mountains. My parents and Laurette are there. There was a baby bear cub that was wandering around the yard and who eventually came inside of the house. I let him bite my arm and claw me so that we could catch it. This hurt, but he didn't puncture my skin. Once we had control of it, we put it in a baby play pin and I put a blanket over it so that the bear would be confined. We spread a nasty liquid mixture of food and what seems to be feces on the floor of the pin for it to eat, since we didn't really know what bears ate. His face became covered with the brown liquidy mess when he tried to eat it. We ended up naming the bear Igity while we tried to figure out what to do with it. We went outside and looked around at huge mountains rising above us. We discussed where we could release it on the property. Looking in one direction, our property had a dusk-to-dawn light that was on (it was dark). I could see that the leaves near the light were changing to red and orange, and knew that it must be the beginning of autumn. Eventually we decided against releasing it on our property because it would probably just come back. We (my father and I) drove the cub out somewhere on a road and put it up on a pole or platform and are preparing to release it. Just before we do, I realize that the bear can talk. He says a few simple phrases, including one about a "toy". I understand that this bear must have been captured before and lived with humans for awhile, to be able to speak phrases of our language. We look back at the bear on the platform and suddenly he and his platform are much much higher in the tree, to the point where we can no longer reach it with a pole. As we are trying to figure out how to get to the bear to release it, a car comes along the road.
It is no longer my father with me, but a somewhat random guy who is near my age. The car that pulls up is driven by my friend Sara, who died of cancer last year. I am aware that she is dying, but may not realize that she has already died. There is some fuzzy understanding that this was the place and time where she died, and almost like she was revisiting it. Her car is very small, almost like a motorcycle or three-wheeler, and is pulling a small wagon type trailer behind it. The guy who is with me gets on the trailer and I sit behind Sara on the bumper of the car. I lean on her back and weep and cry as she drives. She tells me that there is a celebration party for her that we are going to. As we are driving to the celebration, Sara tells me that she is moving in with her math teacher, and that her life wasn't much of anything right now. It was evident to me that she was preparing to die. Eventually we got to the party. I let the guy who is with us go in before me, because I am not ready to go in. At the party there are a bunch of people that I don't know. I feel out of place and awkward. There is a woman there who has "stringy" hair, and lots of people socializing. I feel guilty, and feel that Sara is disappointed in me.
Additional Comments:
The 2nd half of this dream is quite similar to a celebration of her life that I went to after she died. I felt a lot of guilt and anguish about my lack of presence in her life while she was sick before she died, and am still struggling to come to terms with this.
