al's Dream Journal

epiphany about depression/flying by brick walls (illus.)

Date of dream: Thursday, August 06, 2009

Level of Lucidity:

Level of Cohesiveness:

Rating:

Lucid Intent? Yes Lucid Technique: Other

This dream has been viewed 2897 times.

links to my dream illustrations, dream animations, and more

I'm in a whirlpool and I make friends with this enormous fish that has a shell with points on it, kind of like a crab would. The fish seems to even have sort of a dog-like personality, and it's about the same size as me.

(shift) Someone has lost his foot in some accident and now has a stump with a metal horseshoe at the end of it (precog of the episode of Fringe I saw part of today, where the official from Global Dynamics gets her arm replaced with a bionic one).

(wake up, record, fall back to sleep)

This guy is asking me out, but something about him makes me nervous. I have an idea, which seems brilliant in the dream. "Why don't we try rooming together to see if our personalities jive together?" I say (something I would never do if I didn't know someone very well and had a bad vibe about them!).

(wake up, record, fall back to sleep)

I'm babysitting a little girl and trying to get her to look at a little cat meowing nearby. Then I think, This must be a dream, and I seem to recall that I camped out on the shoulder of Storrow Drive in Boston before I went to sleep. I think I'd better wake up quickly because that's probably a dangerous spot to fall asleep in, surely someone will run me over.

I try to peel my eyelids open on one eye, but don't seem to be able to do it -- of course, the assumption is that I think that will allow me to see where I'm sleeping in real life (I've tried this many times before in my dreams, and it doesn't work ... I don't understand why I still don't get this!).

The dream goes on, I'm now flying through a vast underground garage with ceramic brick walls that are alternately yellow ochre and burnt umber.

flying past brick walls

My flight gets erratic, almost too fast ... but I stay with it, because I just think, "It is what it is." It makes me a little seasick because I'm spinning at the same time I'm going very fast.

I try to open my eyes again, still convinced in real life that I'm sleeping on Storrow Drive. I do get a glimpse of the night sky and myself sleeping in a sleeping bag by the side of the road.

(shift) I'm in a room with C___ B. and other coworkers from that time period. They refer to me as not being in their social "club." This makes me angry and sullen, and I sulk off into a corner of the room. I suddenly recall that in real life I did a lot of this kind of moping and having angry thoughts about my classmates through elementary school, because I wasn't good in sports and I was always ostracized for that.

I wonder if this could explain why I have had so much of a problem with depression as an adult?

I wake up and realize this is something I've NEVER thought about in real life ... even though my depression is currently treated with medication quite well, could it have had its roots in the bad way I was treated all through elementary and middle school? I recall being always angry about how I was treated, but never knew how to cope with it.

(record, fall back to sleep)

I think I want to fly as I'm falling through some nondescript space. I wonder if by flapping my arms and cupping my hands to catch the air this will be possible, so I begin trying that.

(wake up, record, fall back to sleep)

I say, "But are the machines happy?" (setting forgotten)

The machines reply, "YES."

I say, "That's BULLSHIT!"

I wake up.

Keywords
fish
brick wall
Storrow Drive
Fringe
roommates

Add'l Emotions
happy
nervous
worried
angry
depressed

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a futuristic, prototype car

Date of dream: Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Level of Lucidity: N/A Level of Cohesiveness:

This dream has been viewed 9209 times.

The first dream was something about me being back in boarding academy, at my present age. I didn't question this, but rather was preoccupied with the details of arranging my new room with my roommates. I can't remember too much.

I woke up, ate breakfast and went back to sleep.

I lived in a neighborhood that was a little run down. I was hanging out with some guys who were kind of loud, but whose company I found entertaining. I worried a little, though, that if the subject of gay people ever came up they would probably be homophobic. I put the thought out of my head, and kept laughing and joking around with them.

Someone drove up in a futuristic, prototype car. It was made of shiny metallic posts that connected together in a grid. You could see right through the spaces in the grid, and there didn't appear to be an engine. But when we got inside, it took off like a rocket. I was amazed at how fast we sped along.

I can't remember what happened next. Soon, though, I was at a miniature golf course with my father and brothers. The F__ brothers were there, too (the friends I used to play Dungeons and Dragons with many years ago). My father was taking his time on the second to the last hole, and a group of golfers with a golf cart were waiting for him to finish.

I went ahead to the last hole. The dream seemed to be changing the course from a miniature one to a real one. I picked out one of those chipper kind of golf clubs...are they called "irons?" I went to hit my ball from where it lay on the fairway towards the green.

But the men were watching me expectantly, and I got nervous and just knocked the ball in the wrong direction, at an odd angle. They seemed disappointed that I had done so badly.

I wandered over to the green. A hose dangled down from above, presumably hanging from the tree above, but I wasn't sure about that. There was an attachment on it that caused the water coming out of it to sprinkle into three streams. I was trying to figure out the significance of this when I woke up.

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Keywords
golf
roommates
car

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OBE X 2

Date of dream: Saturday, March 19, 2005

Level of Lucidity:

Level of Cohesiveness:

This dream has been viewed 8170 times.

In the first dream, I was rooming once more with my old roommates in B___. Only the house was located at a subsequent location I lived at, in S___. I can't remember too much of what happened.

Then I was in a function hall with my family and a whole horde of little kids. I can't remember too much of this dream, either.

In another dream, I had an OBE experience twice. It was the usual way of getting out of my body; I started from a lying down position in bed, swung my legs over the side, stood up and walked away from the bed. Each time I felt the funny snapping sensation that I think comes from separating from the body. I then flew around for a bit.

I went back to a dream in which I was not lucid. There was some fuss over welcome mats that had rectangles of color on them...all colors of the rainbow. My parents and I were throwing them in the trunk of our car. A little bit later on we were in a house, and I found my mind regressing to the time when I used to be religious (a very long time ago). "Dear Jesus," I blurted out, "please forgive me of my sins."

I woke up.

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