Lucid Intent? Yes Lucid Technique: Other
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I'm at the hospital I work at, when suddenly I lose my coordination and fall heavily to the floor. Instead of helping me, one of my supervisors, K___, is sarcastic and cruel as he makes fun of me.
I'm sick enough that EMTs bring me to the ICU. But once I'm settled in a bed there, some of the guys from the gay running club that I belonged to years ago show up to draw my blood. But they, too, are mean and threaten to make my hospital stay miserable, starting with how they're going to go about getting my blood samples -- they're going to thread the needle in and out of my skin. I'm terrified.
I realize that in the bedlam I lost my wallet when they made me change from my pants into a hospital johnny. But then there's a shift so that I'm standing up again and my pants are back on, with the wallet in it. This makes me lucid and, with that, comes a great sense of relief. None of this is happening! But I wake up right then.
I fall right back to sleep and go into a lucid dream in which I'm in our old house in N___, Michigan. I'm looking at two TVs broadcasting the same station ... one is for "HD-TV" and the other is for the analog signal.
This almost distracts me from being lucid. But then I remember that I have been wanting to experiment again with going in and out of the dream by shaking my head slightly back and forth. I do this a number of times, and the dream resets slightly each time that I come back into it. However, I know that the longer I do this, the more of the sequences that I'll forget upon awakening. I don't care, though -- I want to see where it will lead me.
Many long supernatural sequences follow (which I can't remember now -- as usual, I forget most of a dream if it's too long). In one sequence I'm in a sleeping bag on the floor of a large, old hall. I think I might be in danger, so deep am I in the dream state. If I go too deep, is there a danger of dying? I wonder. Should I tell someone in the hall?
But I keep experimenting, letting myself go deeper. Finally I find myself at the narrow top of a sharp peak that is miles and miles high. There are 90° precipices on either side.
I'm torn between lust for what appear to be supernatural male beings who seem to cast some spell of sexual attractiveness; and asking for forgiveness for all the lustful things I've done in my life. Then I remember -- forgiveness is not that big of an issue for me for things that didn't hurt anyone but myself.
The words, "crossing over/holding pen" flash through my head and there's a shift -- I'm now looking at the spirit of Mary Magdalene towering over Central Park in New York City along with the spirit of some man in a suit. They're semi-transparent.
"You're saying that I can either punish or ask for forgiveness, but if I'm alone, why would I do either?" Mary says.
I understand her to be saying something completely different from her spoken words -- it's very clear to me that her meaning is that in her present state, the worries of Earth don't concern her anymore.
I wake up.