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(Just as a warning this dream contains some bizarre sexual imagery).
It is daytime and I find myself back in the exact same bullfighting ring I was in during this
dream ‘The bullfight.’ from Friday the 25th July 2008.
The arena is devoid of spectators and is instilled with a silent ceremonial expectation. An immense
muscular snow white bulky bull enters from my right through the amphitheatres tunneled portal. The
gargantuan beast slowly trots into the stadium with the poise and grace of a dressage horse. I note
that the bull has a Polynesian style garland of large pink bell like flowers hanging from its neck
sort of like a corolla or a Thai Phuang malai.
In the centre of the arena is an avenue of male warriors who face inwards to one another, each of
the men holds a tall spear erect in his left hand. As the bull approaches the avenue of warriors
and begins a very slow regal trot with chin raised in-between the men, the warriors begin a very
deep throated guttural sort of animalistic chant very much like sports stars do on say a rugby or
American football field in order to raise their spirits or energy.
At the end of the avenue the bull approaches a naked and voluptuous lady who stands in front of a
thrown which sits atop a raised podium, the only thing this lady wears is a silver tiara in the
shape of a crescent moon which sits like a “U” shape on her forehead. This lady is very powerful,
more powerful than a queen even and something like an empress.
When the bull reaches the empresses it pushes its wet muzzle and nose beneath her crotch and lifts
her clean off the ground where she slides down the bull’s nose and forehead and in-between his
horns before sinking into the bull’s mane like duvet of thick white curly fur. It’s at this point
my perspective shifts and I see a closer view of the bull’s back and even share some dualistic
feelings with the principle characters.
Near to the large fatty lump on the bulls back and deep beneath the curls of fur I can just see a
large pink fleshy vagina like opening appear, the empress is slowly swallowed down in through the
orifice and inside the bull’s body after which the wound like lips seal back up again.
There is a moment of complete silence and stillness and then the bull begins rumbling and having
tremors and muscular spasms, it’s almost as if the bull is having trouble digesting the empress or
it’s as if the empress is struggling inside the bull. The bull then performs an immense dressage
leap and assumes the levade prancing horse position on its hind legs, from beneath its visible
belly I see that the bull has an enormous erect phallus which sends a shuddering volcanic
ejaculation of snow high into the sky above the arena.
As the plume of white snow continues to jet up into the stratosphere the bull which is still stood
on its hind quarters begins to crystallize and transforms into a frozen, grey veined, white Carrara
As the snowy semen gently falls back down to earth in the form of huge beautiful oversized
snowflakes which carpet the ground of the bullfighting ring the spear bearing warriors look up
catching the odd snowflake in their hands, they appear puzzled and slightly disappointed, the
ceremony has not achieved the expected outcome. As the warriors turn their backs on the white
statue and traipse out from the stadium I’m left with the feeling that the ceremony or ritual will
need to be re-enacted or attempted again at some future date but only after a period rest.
Before leaving the snowy amphitheatre I look down at the pedestal of the statue of the bull which
was once the throne of the empress and I see engraved in hand cut angular Roman lettering the
aphorism “That which you resist, persists”.
Thoughts: This dream would seem to be an attempt at trying to bring together and unite my instinctual side as represented by the masculine bull and my reasoning side as symbolized by the feminine empress (something of recurring drama for me and something which I can relate to in my waking life). The lack of success of the ceremony seems to be signified in part by the strange indigestion the bull suffered when he tried to assimilate the empress and also by the beautiful yet cold snowflakes which symbolically being sperm might indicate frigid energies particularly in a masculine regard. That thought of frigidness seems to tie in with the maxim carved into the base of the pedestal about resistance too.
Dream 1: Re-education – Daytime and I find myself in the countryside not far from my childhood home. There is a sports gym not far from my old house (only in dreams) which I seem to visit from time to time. I walk through the tight old twisting country lanes and out towards the gym, an unfamiliar male is in my company and tells me in a reflective halcyon or melancholic nostalgic sort of way how I used to easily run the 4 or 5 mile circuit through the countryside as a mere warm up and prelude to a visit to the gymnasium where I would exercise but now alas I’ve fallen away from those old ways. When I arrive at the gym I see lots of notice boards with small posters advertising evening classes for people who wish to retake the exams which they failed at school, this interests me a great deal and I seriously consider signing up. Rather than retaking ‘O’ levels as they used to be called these exams are called ‘C’ levels.
Dream 2: Bridges and buses don’t mix – It is daytime and I find myself traveling on the top deck of a double-decker bus on a road on the outskirts of the city where I went to art college. As the bus travels along we run head on into a bridge which some how gets embedded in the top deck of the bus, the bridge is strange, soft, white and supple something like the bellows on a concertina. The bridge continues to stretch out like a piece of elastic as we continue to travel along the road pulling it along with us, there are elderly people who were caught up in the bridge who were trying to cross over the road at the time we struck it. I panic for the old people trapped inside the tunnel/bridge safety and grab onto one end of the bridge tightly in the hope that I can rejoin this bridge with the next one that is rapidly approaching so that they can continue on their way unhindered. It’s a really close call but I somehow just manage to attach the stretchy bridge to the one about a 100 meters up ahead with a clasp like catch, very much like how one might stretch a pair bracers to attach them to a pair of trousers (if that makes sense, of course this whole scenario now seems utterly surreal and dreamlike but from within the dream was very immersive and ‘real’). After averting a tragedy with the bridges I go downstairs to the lower deck of the bus and am surprised to see a boy I went to secondary school with (I can’t recall having dreamt of him before), the boy is grown up now and is dressed in a business suit. The old friend tells me how he works in the city and spends all of his time commuting, he gives me a lecture as if to say “If you think you’ve got it hard then you should try things from my position”.
Dream 3: The world’s worst coffee shop – I have taken my Mum and younger sister to a (dream) coffee shop not far from where my Nan’s house is, it is intended to be something of my treat as this coffee shop is quite new and everyone seems to be talking about how great it is. But once inside things take a rapid turn for the worse, I take a place in the queue and make space for my Mum and sister but the queue is so huge and the shop so crammed full of people that as soon as one has turned their back to look at the cakes being served somebody else barges in and steals a place. I start to become hot and bothered and a little tetchy particularly when I see that there are hardly any little cakes left and not only that but the people serving behind the counter have put little cards out displaying delicious sounding cakes when in fact they don’t have any such cakes to offer. I eventually manage to be served and am asked by a lady what I would like so I order coffee and cakes for my Mum and sister and then tell her that I would like a cake with some rum in it (??). I eventually manage to take my order and squeeze through the crowds of people to where I see my Mum waiting in a huge queue of people waiting to go to an upstairs seated area where people can sit down and eat and drink, I briefly note that a lady in the queue has a huge long perambulator which looks like a ridiculously long closed casket or coffin on wheels. The huge queue and cramped conditions aggravate me no end but I go and take a seat on a wall with my Mum and sister as we wait in turn to go upstairs to sit down. As I sit besides my Mum whilst she eats her cake three young oafish male school adolescents begin jeering and saying rude and abusive things to my Mum, I’m immediately thrown into the most furious outrage and stand up to confront them. Two of the obnoxious youths look like primitive man and are almost scary to look at, particularly one who has an ape like shaped skull only without the hair, this bizarre duo are headed by another uncivilized and yet modern crude obese youth, he is the one that insulted my Mum, this boy wears a pair of the most ridiculous huge wrap around sunglasses to hide his eyes. The teen with the sunglasses heaves himself up off the seat and waddles over to me threateningly and then cocks his right leg up in the air and attempts to swing a kung fu roundhouse kick on me. The attack is utterly feeble and very laughable I simply reach out and grab his leg and then push him to the ground where he falls on his back and struggles to right his position just as if he were an upturned beetle. The boy is very angry at being humiliated and walks off threatening me and swearing that he is going to get his older brother to fight me. I feel a momentary twinge of fear and imagine his brother to be a huge hulk of giant but I soon dismiss the thought and decide that I must face the confrontation like a man.
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It feels like evening time and I find myself at the entrance of an expensive watch shop with a
group of women one of whom I feel is my wife, the other women seem familiar and yet unfamiliar.
Such is the exclusivity of the shop one has to ring a buzzer or door bell to gain entry to the shop
and even then admission isn’t always granted and is dependant on if the prospective
customer ‘looks’ right and respectable to the shop owner* (Also refer to the exclusive jeweller in
Dream 1 and see additional comments for further thoughts on this symbolism).
It would appear that I am deemed worthy to enter and I’m granted access when the door is opened by
a very elderly old lady who appears to be the owner of the watch shop.
Inside I discover the watches are beautifully made and very desirable just like some extremely
expensive Italian ones I like in waking life, unfortunately these watches are far beyond my means
and I’ll never be able to buy one I feel.
After looking at the watches I see a cardboard box on the floor that would appear to be some kind
of bargain bin full of discounted watch straps. The leather straps are also beautifully crafted and
made from thick wide strips of suede and leather, they look worth buying even though they don’t
come with a watch but unfortunately such is the shops exclusivity that even these ‘bargains’ are
far too expensive.
Whilst rummaging in the box I discover one very interesting strap in particular that looks as
though it was made for the watch of an adventurer, attached to the deep green wrist band is a small
drawstring pouch which contains a small wet weather rain cagoule or poncho. “What a wonderful idea”
I think to myself, anyone using this for a watch bracelet whilst out in the wilds would be certain
to keep dry in a downpour, unfortunately its also beyond my means so I have to drop it back into
the bargain bin.
It would appear that I’ve run out of time and have to leave the shop but before doing so the old
lady who owns the shop takes me and the ladies that are with me over to a large weighing scales and
makes each of us stand upon it in turn so as to weigh us.
Apparently what the old lady is doing is weighing each of us to see if we are heavier now than when
we arrived in her shop, if we are heavier then we have obviously stolen one of her watches. The
anti-theft measure is pure genius and I’m utterly impressed by the old woman’s ingenuity, the old
lady is very polite throughout the whole weighing procedure and isn’t being at all horrid or
accusing, she simply has to check if we have stolen any of her goods.
I feel safe in the knowledge that neither I nor any of the women that accompany me have stolen any
of the old ladies watches.
Thoughts: The above dream would seem to be a return to my watch dreams of the recent past and is probably in reference to a need for me to be more carefree and spontaneous in order to avoid feeling limited and constrained which might eventually bring me to (or already has brought me to) some kind of emotional standstill. Although each of the last nights remembered dreams felt quite separate they did seem to overlap in certain areas, such as with the watch shop in the principle dream above and the Cartier character from Dream 1 (*I have seen such exclusive shops in waking life that one has to press a buzzer to enter in waking life although I’ve never been inside one), and then also the sexual theme of frustrated pleasure in Dream 1 and then the willing procreation of Dream 2.
Dream 1: Night time party for VIP’s and frustrated sex – Night time and I find myself back at the hotel where I was working as a night porter about 20 years ago, a large function and party is being put on in the grounds and function rooms of the hotel for very important people. I walk about the grounds helping to serve trays of drinks and clear glasses, my wife also appears to be here and she discreetly points out a rather distinguished grey haired gentleman standing with a champagne flute chatting with friends, my wife tells me that he is (a first name beginning with a “B” possibly Benoit) Cartier and that he is head jeweller of the ‘House of Cartier’ the jewellery and watch maker. I’m impressed with the special guest my wife points out but after showing me my wife and I go our separate ways and carry on serving the guests. There is one room which look like a converted barn which has a long banquet table inside, this table has royalty sat around it and I notice in particular Princess Diana dressed in a white wedding style dress with a tiara sat on the longest left hand side of the table. I feel I must visit this room to see what it is like as the Royal ambiance is very alluring, I know being a lowly night porter that I am forbidden to enter this special room so I take a tray and pretend to head on into the converted barn as if I were tidying and serving, what I actually do just seems like a lot of fumbling and dillydallying but somehow I manage to walk inside without drawing too much attention to myself. Once inside I just dither about with pretending to put a few bits of crockery onto my tray whilst I try to soak up the special royal atmosphere and listen in on what is being said. I don’t stay too long though so as to not raise suspicion so after a while I walk back out again with my tray. In the night time garden outside I bump into a lady I used to work with at the very same hotel all those years ago (this was an older lady who wanted to go out with me on a date but I was too shy to go out with her) we are very surprised to see one another and the lady grabs me by the hand and runs off towards a secluded quiet part of the garden pulling me behind her. The lady pulls me down into the grass and she asks me to make love to her, I feel very excited and we both strip of our clothes but just as we are about to embrace I suddenly realise that I don’t have any condoms and very frustratingly have to stop myself (something of a recurring dream theme for me). I ask the lady if we can just lie together in the grass and touch one another intimately, the lady doesn’t seem to mind and we both start stroking and touching one another in our intimate places. But when I look down at our close together naked bodies I see that the ladies skimpy knickers have some how transferred onto me and now I’m wearing them, the lady laughs in a light hearted way at this and I feel slightly embarrassed but am completely puzzled as to how I ended up wearing the panties. The lady doesn’t seem to mind though and we continue to touch and stroke one another passionately, I plan to walk the lady friend home later on that night.
Dream 2: Irish gold, English order, Italian blood – Daytime and I find myself sat on a wooded hilltop overlooking an abandoned quarry and mine, a gypsy woman is sat on an old wall in front of me. The huge excavated womb like quarry is somehow Irish and analogous to the gypsy woman, the mine is a gold mine that may have been exhausted or deserted for one reason or another. The gypsy lady tells me the story of a terrible and meaningless war that has been raging in another neighbouring reality which has somehow had dire consequences on the quarry and mine in this realm, as the lady tells me her story I have a grainy washed out vision of a war torn city with a small group of English WWII soldiers dressed in short sleeved shirts, long khaki shorts, long socks and boots. The men of varying ages walk slightly bow legged along a criss-crossed railway track that runs up an avenue of war damaged buildings, I pick up on the feeling that the men’s Englishness makes them somehow orderly and very organised. The vision ends and I’m back with the gypsy lady overlooking the gaping quarry, the gypsy woman is now holding a phantom baby on her lap, the baby doesn’t exist yet but represents one that she could potentially bear. The woman explains that the ghostly baby is Italian and can only be born if I have intercourse with her, but unlike at the end of Dream 1 the sexual intercourse without a condom doesn’t cause me any anxiety and I feel that bringing the Italian bloodline to life will somehow be a worthy cause and will also somehow consolidate the Irish, English and Italian genes. As I ponder having sex with the gypsy lady I gaze out over the forest on top of the hill and think to myself that this would be a good place to release my pet cat so that he can go off and live a life of freedom in the wilds.
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Daytime and I see a manager from my place of work driving a car cram packed with work colleague’s
down an unfamiliar countryside lane. The manager has completely cooked the engine and steam hisses
and billows out from beneath the bonnet so I hurry over to see if I can help.
With the hood lifted up I can see that the steam is forcing its way out from the radiator and thick
hot liquid bubbles out from the head gasket, I can see that the engine has run out of coolant and
now the motor is ruined.
The car isn’t so far from work so I decide to dismantle the engine and salvage any parts that I
think are of value.
I end up taking only the camshaft and head off to my place of work with it. Once inside I go over
to a print room where I know I will be able to put the camshaft to use in a printing machine using
it as something of a spare part or replacement part to make the printer function better.
Thoughts: This was a very vivid and symbolic style dream which I’m sure has a meaning at some level, all I can think of for the moment is that this dream has something to do with trying to transform the way I want to work, the worn out car might suggest that my current job has run its course or out of steam and is of no further use to me or that there is some aspect about my current life path concerning my career which I am not managing competently. But there might be something of worth to take with me for my troubles in the form of the camshaft, incidentally the shape of a cam lobe is egg shaped which might represent something of a rebirth or might be in reference to the valves and a need to release some pressure like the steam from the engine, I’ll have to give this one some thought.
Dream 2: The beautiful scale – Not at all a dream but I awake at some point between 3:30 a.m. and 4 a.m. this morning to hear somebody playing a piano (there is no piano in our house and neither I nor my wife can play). The music is beautiful but also very real and not at all ‘dreamy’. Whoever is playing appears to be reciting a tune possibly one they have written and are practicing, but the composition also appears to be a way for whoever is playing to practice a musical scale. I listen for what must be quite a few minutes perhaps even as long as ten minutes, the first time the cycle is played it sounds virtually perfect but the second time it sounds as if whoever is playing perhaps miss keys misses a note or hits two keys at once, the same mini composition is played over and over a number of times in what seems like a practice. I listen for so long that I feel certain of the following facts: I am consciously awake and not sleeping, I eventually ascertain that the sound is actually internal, or inside me sort of within my head but also at the same time autonomous and self regulating, i.e. I have no control over it. In simple terms it felt like I was picking up on a radio transmission only here I am picking up on somebody actually playing a piano in their home not radio waves. My ability to hone in on the playing was very strong, for example I could shift my awareness away from the sound only to come back to it again as I wished.
Dream 3: Wasteful and intrusive – Daytime in my Nan’s kitchen with my wife, I see lots of opened mail and post on the kitchen table and I’m shocked to find that it is actually mail which has been addressed to me but which my great uncle has rudely opened without my consent, I feel very angry with him over this intrusion. Just then I notice something poking out of the top of the flip-top kitchen bin, I push open the lid and am shocked to find whole loaves of fresh brown granary bread thrown away, I know its my great uncles doing and I feel even more angry with him for doing such a wasteful thing. I take the bread out of the bin and place it on the table, the long loaves are soft and spongy and very fresh I tell my wife how shameful it is of my great uncle to be throwing away such good bread. I feel like I would like to give him a piece of my mind if he was here but I sense that he is out and not at home at the moment.
Dream 4: Scissors of spite – Night time and not far from my Nan’s house I’m walking along a path near to some council blocks with my wife which seems vaguely familiar to me. Suddenly two old women come out of a ground floor council style flat hurling abuse and being very vicious to us. One of the women attacks me with a pair of scissors but I manage to fend her off and knock her scissors to the floor which I manage to pick up and keep out of harms way. Somehow my wife and I become subdued and are kidnapped or abducted into the strange couple’s house, in our dazed state we are forced down a trapdoor where we slide down into an old basement. I come to and scout around and see lots of bottle and syringes in an adjoining washroom that look very much like the kind used to administer medicine to our cat. Some logs suddenly thud and tumble down the chute following after us and I panic thinking that there are going to be tons of logs to store and pile away (this is actually in reference to a real waking life event which happened about 2 weekends ago). Fortunately there is only about a large sacks worth of firewood here to organise much to the relief of my wife and I.
Dream 5: Inconvenienced at work – I find myself at work and I appear to be trying to catch up on some work that has built up whilst I have been away, I’m very busy but a work colleague has sent me an e-mail and comes over and sits on my desk and opens the e-mail to show me a new cartoon car computer game he is interested in. I feel very awkward as I don’t want to upset him by telling him not to bother me and that I really must be getting on with my work but I also don’t want to get into trouble for not working either.