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I am sat on a toilet in a public convenience reading a survival handbook whilst military exercises
take place outside.
The Staff Sergeant from the reality television series ‘SAS: Are You Tough Enough?’ joins me and sits
down on a toilet to my left.
I ask the Staff Sergeant about a past military campaign mentioned in the book that he fought in, we
chat and he speaks to me in a firm but caring fatherly way offering his advice and counsel.
Thoughts: Perhaps this dream is providing the answer of how to adapt and survive challenging situations by actually confronting them head on? Hiding fearfully on the toilet reading about the ‘theory’ of a reclusive extreme survival rather than going outside and ‘experiencing’ a close quarters confrontation first hand like a man with whatever or whoever causes the worries is perhaps the real reason why I am unable to eliminate my toxic worries. Fear of confrontation is the cause of the retention, psychological constipation, or not letting go of the worries, therefore do away with the fear, assert oneself, speak ones mind, stick up for oneself and for what one believes in and the worries will be eliminated natural.
Dream 2: Joyless piano – In an unfamiliar old fashioned living room which is permeated by a thick depressing atmosphere I see a group of older people sat about trying to oppressively direct the life of Ian Curtis the late lead singer of the music group Joy Division. I watch as Ian sits at a piano and tries to raise his spirits by playing a song, he miss keys and drops notes creating an eerie and solemn tune.
Dream 3: The rut – I have returned back to the town where I lived 10 years ago, I have feelings of hopelessness, resignation and failure. My stepfather, younger sister and her husband try reasoning with my stubborn depression but my mother has no consideration for me and prefers to side with her aunt. I get a new job as a tour guide on a coach it is my job to depress the clutch for the driver when necessary.
Dream 4: Dead air – At the foot of a dark and ominous stairwell I am shown stories of esoteric mysteries and tales of supernatural phenomena, one of which is about a paranormal radio discussion between a male radio host and his male guest. Part of the way through the transmission there is an eerie interruption of dead air where only white noise can be heard.
Dream 5: Retirement – At a house close to the area where I lived in my early teens I meet a man who happily tells me that he is retiring from his job in London after 40 years of service. I am invited to sleep over at the man’s house. In the middle of the night I am awoken by the thrumming drone of a generator which has been left running in the neighboring funeral directors grounds. I get up out of bed and go out to switch it off.
Dream 6: Car crash – Late at night on an unfamiliar street my wife and I watch as a car pulls away from some traffic lights and accelerates hard into the wall of a building, resulting in a shocking accident, I rush over to see if I can help. Surprisingly the car looks undamaged but peering inside I see that the driver has been violently thrown into the back seat and her limbs have been broken revealing the soft gelatinous marrow. The emergency services arrive and I help the stricken driver onto a stretcher telling everyone to be careful of her injuries. I take the rear end of the stretcher and a female nurse takes the handles at the front and we make our way to the hospital. But after having only walked a few steps the nurse cannot be bothered to carry the stretcher any longer and drops her end to the ground. I’m furious at her actions and the general lack of interest her colleagues show in helping the injured woman.
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I am inside a men’s public toilet and I am washing my hands with a green bar of soap.
I consider leaving the soap on the hand basin for the next person to use but I pause, reflect and
remember that this is actually my own personal bar of soap that I carry about with me so that I will
always be able to wash my hands each time I use a public lavatory.
After washing my hands I happily wrap up the soap up in a paper hand towel so as to keep it dry in
Two women enter the toilet dressed in smart suits and holding clipboards they are toilet inspectors.
I recognize one of the women as being an Italian female work colleague whereas the other older lady
The toilets are extremely clean but the older woman complains of a strong odor and points to the
domed drain covers of the urinal as if they are the source of the smell.
I tell the two women not to worry as the smell is a natural masculine odor that they are just
Thoughts: I’ve been having a few anxious days so I asked my subconscious to help me by teaching me how to let go over my worries. Symbolically it wouldn’t seem to be enough to just flush ones toxic waste down the lavatory but one also needs to ‘wash ones hands’ of the worries too, the toilet hygiene refers to mental hygiene in this context I feel. The two female toilet inspectors almost certainly represent aspects of my feminine side that are unfamiliar with the masculine outpouring. These two characters may have links with the elderly woman in Dream 3 below the old woman may represent a passing away of an old feminine emanation as opposed to the two younger toilet inspectors. Her broken blue candlestick may have characterized an idealized version of masculinity, a kind of spiritual phallus. The broken candlestick may be the male equivalent of how broken bowls and vessels in classical art often represent the loss of a female virginity, in this instance though the break represents a realization that the older woman’s ideals are not in accord with those of my greater self.
Dream 1: Thinking upside down – I am doing a headstand using the wall to the right of a staircase that descends downwards to support me. The English comedian Craig Charles in the guise of his fictional character Dave Lister from the science fiction situation comedy ‘Red Dwarf’ sits cross-legged to my left. The character of Dave explains to me that he knows a woman who is interested in having a sexual relationship with me and that he can arrange for me to meet up with her, he cautions me wryly warning that the woman is very aggressive and like an animal when she has sex.
Dream 3: Ancient stories in the changing room – I find myself in a grand book shop which also happens to be a gymnasium changing room. I see a group of ancient Greek men wearing traditional dress sat down telling epic tales to anyone wanting to listen. I turn to look at a tall full bookshelf containing more Greek heroic stories I take down a book and see a picture of a hero wearing a Corinthian helmet. I go to a smaller room where books about dreams are displayed. I take down from the shelf what I think is a little book and discover that it is actually a small electronic gadget, an alarm clock for dreams. I take another thin square book from the shelf but realize that it is not a book but a puzzle maze, again linked to dreams. I ask the assistant if he sells compact discs and he says “No” adding whilst pointing outside to the rear of the building where there is a car park “but she might”. Looking out of the window I see a little old lady preparing a table for a rummage sale. I watch as she unpacks the first of her items from a cardboard box, a deep blue glass candle stick. Unfortunately the candlestick has broken whilst in transit, when the old lady realizes this she becomes a little poignant and I share in these feelings.
Dream 4: The meeting place – My wife and I are walking along the lower end of the high street in the town where I lived about 10 years ago. We see a suspicious looking van idling at some traffic lights with nobody in the cab. My wife goes over and gets inside the lorry as she is curious to find out where it is heading, I call out to her cautioning her to be wary as it seems like a dangerous thing to do, as the lorry pulls away we call out to one another arranging a place to meet up later. I continue to walk down the street feeling uneasy about my wife getting into the strange van I see a dirty looking man walk towards me dressed in the uniform of the Queen’s Guard his clothing is unkempt. I walk across a muddy wasteland and over to the place where I arranged to meet my wife. The rendezvous looks like a busy doctor’s waiting room, I sit down at a table commandeered by two aggressive women, there is a note written on a small piece of tracing paper on the table. One of the hostile women eats some potato chips from a packet I am eating potato crisps as well but from a small container. The unfriendly woman insists that our potato crisps are not the same but I disagree and know that it is just the packaging which is different.
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I have decided to go back and work in a hotel again in order to save up the money to buy a new
sporty motorbike, in order to do this I have to go back to my Nan’s to live.
I calculate that if I work both days and nights constantly without stopping for one month I will
manage to accumulate all of the money I need to buy my motorbike, it’s an exhausting prospect but a
worthwhile sacrifice to get my motorcycle.
I suddenly feel I need to use the lavatory so hurry up to my Nan’s small familiar toilet where I’m
repulsed to see that the walls are covered in mould. I vomit missing the toilet and my Nan hands me
a mildewy damp wet toilet roll as if to clean myself up with, I reject it feeling even more
nauseated and feel confused as to how my Nan’s toilet has fallen into such neglect.
Feeling weak and tired I go to get dressed into my clothes for my first shift at the hotel, I wear
black trousers with a white shirt. I notice something strange about my tie when I put it on though,
normally it should be all black but once tied I see that only the bottom half is black with the top
half being white.
Thoughts: I had another feverish night last night so these dreams probably are a bit more surreal or confusing than usual although they do contain some recurring themes, such as the motorcycle and toilet but the unusual tie did also seem very meaningful and symbolic. I’ve read that ties can often symbolise that one feels trapped in a situation or condition and that they can represent ones obligations or conformity too, the black and white of the tie made me think of the night and day I would need to work in order to buy the motorcycle I wanted. The tie also got me thinking about it as being a masculine and phallic symbol and how the black southerly portion might represent the instinctive side and the upper white section the reasoning aspect, the black/white division in the tie also made me think of a day that is celebrated every year in Germany whereby the ladies cut off the bottom part of a man’s tie with a pair of scissors (usually for charity).
Dream 1: Triangle and square blockage – A feverish vision where I see an x-ray view of my upper chest and throat, lodged somewhere roughly behind my sternum is a simple 2 dimensional black outline image of a triangle and just to the right of this is a similar looking square. I’m aware that the position of these two shapes is causing a blockage and is what is to cause for me being unwell at the moment, both shapes need to be either removed completely or realigned and put back into their correct positions.