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(An extremely embarrassing dream, but oh well, here goes….)
Vaguely daytime and I have had a heart attack and have sneezed my heart into my open hands. I look at my still, un-beating heart for a few moments and see that it is pitifully small, pale and undeveloped. It looks embarrassingly insignificant and unimpressive as hearts go and not red, healthy and beating strong as I would like to imagine.
Looking more closely at my heart I see that it looks as though it has separated from one of the large veins like the aorta, this detachment is very noticeable and makes my little heart look as though it were a large pale cherry plucked cleanly from its stalk.
I somehow manage to stagger into a hospital and try to seek help for my condition I can feel my body slowly shutting down and becoming enveloped in an ever intensifying oscillating electrical field, it is how I imagine one would feel when one is dying. I feel partly like a zombie without my heart almost as if it were my brain that had been removed from my body rather than my heart (there was a subtle duality here between the brain and the heart almost as if they were analogous or the heart was a second brain).
I bump into my wife in the hospital she seems quite perplexed at my condition but tags along with me like a quiet child. An attractive nurse in white uniform then comes over to assist me by asking me what my problem is and how she can help. I try to tell the lady about my heart attack and hold out my little pale strawberry shaped heart to show her but when I speak it just comes out as an incoherent mumble as if my senses have been dulled by my condition.
The nurse smiles at me lovingly and tells me that the problem with my heart isn’t really an issue but she does tell me that I have a bigger problem in that I am very badly constipated. I try gesticulating in frustrated panic trying to emphasise the fact that I think being constipated can’t possibly be anywhere near as bad as my heart being outside of my body, in fact I become a bit hysterical thinking that the nurse hasn’t realised the gravity of my situation.
The nurse just continues to give me a gentle knowing smile and laughs off my heart condition and she even treats the constipation problem light-heartedly too even though this is something she wants to help me remedy straight away. It would seem that I am completely over-exaggerating the situation as my medical disorders are actually quite natural and common and something that the hospital has to deal with regularly.
The nurse walks me over to a hospital bed and pulls the curtain around all sides of me for some privacy and then asks me to lie down on the bed. I immediately note that the bed has stirrups and looks like the kind where a pregnant lady might give birth, I feel incredibly embarrassed and mortified in front of the nurse as I position myself on the bed, the nurse then proceeds to help me with my constipation problem.
Without out being too graphic and going into too much detail the unbelievably embarrassing experience has certain parallels with giving birth, the nurse remains very composed and professional throughout which I can only be thankful for because I find the experience utterly mortifying. Just before the dream ends the nurse does manage to help me overcome my problem and the feeling of shame and humiliation is replaced with immense relief and release.
Thoughts: Apologies to anyone reading who found that simply too bizarre, it is a very
weird dream but trying to look beyond the slightly grotesque imagery I think that it does
have a deeper meaning and is actually quite positive even though it was very stressful.
The first drama with the heart perhaps represented how I have difficulties with my
instinctual side, the two brain scenario made me ponder that the heart is all about
feeling and the brain about reasoning, both are used to make judgements about the world
and the dramas in ones life. The rejection or maybe that should be ejection of my heart
by sneezing it through my nose seemed to me to be partly brought about by the more
serious blockage or constipation at the other end. This obstruction perhaps represents my
negativity and pent up feelings about trusting and giving freer reign to my emotions,
intuition and instincts. The act of passing the blockage and releasing the negativity in
the form of a pregnancy seems to clearly suggest that such a cathartic experience
although often very awkward and embarrassing can often signal a kind of positive rebirth
and a fresh start which is very much like how I was left feeling after having this
Dream 2: Greek & gravelly – I find myself in a small dim bed-sit like apartment which is
apparently my dream lodgings there is a knock at the door so I go to answer it. I see
that it is my aunt’s butch ex-girlfriend who has come to visit with my three cousins who
are all young and children again, the cousins all busy themselves playing a video game
console on the old fashioned television set on the floor in the corner of the dim lounge.
My aunt’s ex-girlfriend then takes me to one side for one of her dream pep talks (this is
becoming something of a recurring theme just lately with this person in my dreams) the
chat is vague but is generally meant to boost my confidence and raise my spirits I feel.
My aunt’s ex does suggest that I be more careful with my money though and points to a
scene just behind me whilst handing me a note of very high value that I had left lying
around, it would appear that I have got lots and lots of money but I just leave it laying
around in loose piles and bundles I toss the note my aunts ex-girlfriend handed me on the
pile discarding it with the rest of the money, the apparent wealth doesn’t seem to really
interest me at all. I then notice an actor from one of my wife’s soap operas sat at the
table where the money is, he looks very shifty and is looking for an opportunity to
snatch a big handful of my money. Apparently this threat of theft is just the sort of
thing my aunt’s ex was trying to warn me about. Later on outdoors at my current home in
the garden I see my wife sat down on the dusty soil of the garden playing a video game
much like my cousins previously were, I walk up behind her to see what she is playing.
My wife’s game looks colourful and childlike and perhaps most interestingly I notice that
she is playing the game with the text in the Greek language , I wonder why she would have
chosen to do such a thing as its bound to make the experience much harder and quite
unintelligible. As if to compliment my wife’s game I see ancient Greek scribes walking
about the stony and gravelly garden talking with one another philosophically.
Dream 3: Say it with flowers – I enter the room where the computer is at home and I see
my wife sat in front of the monitor reading through some of my dreams, letters and
correspondence, I begin to feel tense and worry at what she might think of my writing.
Suddenly I see a page open up which has a huge heading which reads “LOVE” the lettering
has been rendered in a floral style with many tiny flowers. In my confused and harried
state I quickly try to articulate a response to my wife’s discovery and explain to her
what this word means to me.
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I have gone to visit my Mum and stepfather at their unfamiliar dream house, I’ve come to help them out in anyway I can.
My step Dad is planning on going for a long trek and is looking for a small flask to take with him so he can have a hot drink. I sort through a large cardboard full of many different kinds of drinking vessels showing him each to see what he thinks.
There is a large assortment of flagons here but none seem to be to his liking, I pick out one that looks as if it has been made from jade and he shows a little more interest. I note that all of the flasks in the box look like they would only be able to store enough liquid to provide one drink.
After helping my stepfather I go into an undecorated lounge area and start helping with some renovation work, the walls of the room have some large cavities which I clear of dust and debris with the intention of filling with plaster.
My Mum comes into the room to join me I see that she has brought us both a cup of coffee which is served in a small mauve Italian espresso coffee cup. My Mum asks me to come and sit beside her for a chat.
I see that she also has a small plate which has two exquisitely crafted chocolates sat upon it, each chocolate has the shape of a heart and upon this heart is a royal crest and upon this crest is a small irregular rock shaped violet candy. The chocolates appear to have been made by a master choclatier and each is a magnificent work of art.
One chocolate is for me and the other is for my Mum to eat whilst we have our coffee, my Mum starts to have a heart to heart with me she seems to be able to sense that on the outside I appear happy but on the inside I am sad. I appreciate my Mum’s company and feel very loved and cared for.
My Mum explains to me gently that I’ve been reading the signs and seeing the symbols in my dreams but have not been acting on them and this is the reason for my sadness.
Thoughts: For some reason the scene with my stepfather and the flasks reminded me of the scene in
the Indiana Jones film where Indy had to choose wisely and pick what he thought was the correct Grail.
The drama with my Mum struck a nerve too as I could really relate to her advice in the dream and on
waking, and can see how this advice applies or should be applied to my waking life. There were some
recurring symbols in this dream like the chocolates, coffee (the need to wake up to certain things) and I
even recall a search for a vessel in a past dream from a while back.
Dream 1: The haunted motorcycle museum – I am being given a tour around a very large museum of
motorcycles by a very chaste woman this lady is older than myself and is possibly a Nun or some other
kind of religious figure. I’m guided amongst various aisles very much like one might see in a
warehouse with long lanes of tall racking looking at the dusty old motorcycles. We come upon one room
which we discover is haunted by a malevolent female poltergeist, the room looks like a foreman’s office
in a factory. Whilst the Nun and I pause in this room I start to have a nosebleed, the blood slowly
trickles out of my nose and immediately draws the attention of the malicious female spirit. I get the
impression that the ghost is attracted to my blood because she can draw off the energy contained in it.
The virgin lady doesn’t seem to know what to do about the spirit so I decide to carry out an
experiment. I take a handful of pink dice all of which have many different sides and shapes, I leave
these dice on a desk in the room with the expectation that the poltergeist will throw them up in the air
and I will be able to garner some sort of conclusion from the way they fall. We leave the dice and then
I and the chaste woman leave the room, we hear lots of banging and smashing of objects but when we
re-enter the room a short while later we see some broken furnishings and ornaments but the dice are
untouched and still in the same position I had previously left them. I was hoping that the ghost would
have thrown the dice into the air and I would have been able to garner something from the way in
which they landed. (The dice in this dream looked very much like the crystals I picked up on the beach
in this dream ‘Octahedron beach’.
Dream 2: Chili powder shampoo – I find myself inside an unfamiliar hairdressers where I see my Mum
and youngest sister sat on a row of comfy chairs reading magazines and waiting to have their hair
styled, a young male is stood just to the right of where my Mum is sat, he looks different to me but I
know that he represents me as a young boy. The boy is wearing pajamas and has his left foot up on
the cushioned chair striking a cowboy like pose. I see that the youth has an erection pushing against his
pajama trousers which he seems quite proud of, this aspect of the boy reminds me of a Greek faun or
satyr. My Mum and sister look at the boy with uninterested expressions and roll their eyes as if this
were a typically immature male thing to do. Some other people including some of the hairdressers and
other males of roughly the same age start laughing and ridiculing the boy’s physical expression
particularly the fact he has an erection, the boy starts to become very embarrassed and runs away
from the hairdressers red faced and ashamed. I’m left watching out the rest of the scene and see a
hairdresser washing or rubbing a woman’s long hair with lots of red powder, I ask the hairdresser what
the red powder is and she tells me that it is chili powder.