More brain surgery 20 years on.
Level of Lucidity:
Level of Cohesiveness:
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(Although not a typical nightmare with monsters this was an extremely upsetting dream and quite unforgettable, definately worse than a nightmare with monsters etc).I find myself stood in a small square operating theatre dressed in nothing except a green surgical gown, I see a hospital bed just in front of me surrounded by tables of instruments and four surgeons three of whom are men and one a woman, I feel that the woman is the head surgeon whereas the men are her assistants.
The atmosphere is absolutely terrifying and I feel that I am about to undergo a terrible procedure that might cause me some fate worse than death itself. (This fear was not the kind associated with dreams of monsters etc but was a real tangible petrifying fear).
Although I don’t seem to recognize the four surgeons I do seem to feel that we all share something in common and that we are all on familiar terms or even know one another in some way.
It appears that I am here to be operated on and to receive some surgery to my brain it appears that I have some kind of cancer like disease or illness that affects my brain, sometimes it is inactive and at other times it can flare up and become active again after long periods of dormancy.
I argue almost begging tearfully with the surgeons and ask them if it is really necessary to have to go through the hell of having this operation again, unfortunately it seems that it is necessary in order to take a sample to see if the disease has reappeared again.
I am aware that I have been to this hospital twice before and the last time was twenty years ago and this will be the third time. I am walked over to the operating table and instantly feel weak-kneed as if all of my strength had been drained from me in an instant.
As I am laid down on the bed I touch and feel a depression on the top of my head it’s extremely discomfiting but lucidly tactile. I touch my scalp near the centre where the shallow crater is knowing that it is the place where the surgeons removed a small piece of my skull the last time they took a sample of my brain all those years ago and which they will remove yet again in order to carry out the same procedure for a third time.
I can’t face going through another operation of this kind and feel petrified and complain and cry like a baby, the surgeons all think I am being childish and try and talk me into calming down. I eventually give in and resign myself to the operation, I feel limp and sick.
Some kind of small metal frame is fitted to the top of my head which I gather is some kind of cradle to stabilize and guide the necessary surgical tools into my head insuring nothing slips or causes any unnecessary damage.
I am then shown an extremely large syringe for a brief moment which is then taken out of my field of vision. The operation commences with me still conscious and I feel (very lucidly) my scalp is cut open and the small piece of skull is removed (which feels something like a lid or stopper) and then the ticklish syringe slowly inserted deep into my brain).
Time passes and the next thing I know I’m getting up off the operating table and standing facing the surgeons, I feel very groggy and unsteady on my feet but manage to drunkenly pose the question “So, what did you find?”
The doctors tell me in a very unemotional and scientific kind of way “Well its 20 years after the last sample was taken and there is no worsening of the problem”
I take this to mean that whatever the disease is it’s either dormant or gone away completely. I take their findings as good news or at the very least acceptable but I can’t help feeling that because of the scientific and dry way the results were delivered the surgeons weren’t giving their own prognosis on the case and didn’t seem to have any intention of doing so, I’m left to decide this myself based on their findings.
I then fleetingly recognize one of the male surgeons he was a male work colleague who left my place of work some years ago now to follow his dreams by setting up a video and DVD store on tropical island (that bit really is true).
Additional Comments:
I really hope this dream doesn’t make me come across as being crazy or anything, after all the dream must have a meaning or message I’m sure. This dream really was most upsetting but the surgeons weren’t malicious or nasty and seemed to be helping me even if they were lacking emotions and dry in their demeanor. In reality I’ve never suffered from any such condition like the one in this dream and hopefully would never have to go through such a petrifying experience....I don’t even want to have another dream like this one again it was really awful, the only redeeming thing was that the surgeon’s findings seemed to be okay.