Date of dream: Tuesday, June 09, 2009
Level of Lucidity: N/A
Level of Cohesiveness: 
Lucid Intent? No
This dream has been viewed 285 times.
Vague by now, but I thought it was rather interesting after having it.
It was late at night (probably after midnight) and I kept logging off the Internet and logging back on because I was too stupid to check things before logging off. I have certain routines that I follow when online, and before logging off I try to do a mental checklist to make sure I did everything I intended to; I guess in the dream I was failing to do this since I'd log off, remember something, then dial up again. This wasn't happening a HUGE recurring amount of times but I believe I logged back on at least twice. I think I even had to turn the computer back on since I'd shut it off to go to bed!
As I said, it was late, meaning I was apparently getting ready for bed, though at the same time it also felt like very early morning like when Dad leaves for work and it seemed like I had more things to do. Ma was also awake (a rarity for such a late hour), sitting on the couch doing something. I can't really describe the dining room where the computer is; it's like it was dark, meaning my light wasn't on, but it wasn't dark in the same way it would be in reality. *shrug* This just seemed normal. I must have been browsing my wish list at Amazon, one of the last things I do before logging off at night, because I saw a recommendation or just randomly came across a book that looked interesting and looked into it.
It was a book about the Egyptian god Set. I know the author was male, and the tone of the book reminded me somewhat of Daily Life Of The Egyptian Gods, a book I've read which is like an anthropological study of the gods, treating them as real beings. I can't really explain the feeling I had about the book, but I know the author was writing about Set in a similar way, as if this were a history of part of his life (similar to a biography only not outlining his entire history, just part of it) and he were a real being (even though the author probably did not believe in him as such). I think the book was meant to be a defense of Set (who's usually reviled as the god of evil and destruction), though not an ALL-OUT defense, just an explanation for his behavior and motives. In short, the writer wasn't demonizing him or putting him on a pedestal but just treating him as a flawed person who should be properly understood. That's the best that I can explain it.
This book, I believe, was hardcover, in a dustjacket, about standard size but thick because it had around 300-400 pages. A really meaty book for such a specialized subject so I knew it had to be informative. I usually like books on this subject a bit more generalized, but I found this really intriguing looking, especially when I read a bit of it. In reality Amazon, for some books, has a "Look Inside" feature where you can browse a few pages, but in my dream it's like I was really looking at the book or something.
This was the most interesting point of the dream and is the reason why I take it down but it's woefully faded by now. All I basically know is that according to this book, Set once attacked his sister/sister-in-law Isis with the intent to rape her. By now I'm not positive if he succeeded or not, but I think it was just an attempt and he didn't actually get to do it; she probably fought him off. I don't think the two of them hated each other after that but of course the relationship was tense. I can't even really understand what his motives were for doing this because I honestly don't think even Set knew. I don't think he was drunk; I don't think he was trying to humiliate or intimidate her; I think perhaps it was a combination of him kind of being in love with her, and kind of going out of his head for a brief time, possibly because she was unattainable (being married to their brother Osiris). Unsure. I get the feeling it wasn't the sort of thing Set planned to try again, in any case, so it's not like Isis was in perpetual danger from him. It was just a really nasty incident from their history together (recent history, not long in the past) and I gather that they both wanted to just move on from it. That's the only plot detail I remember from the book; despite this dream's title, I don't think it was so much a secret as just an incident they didn't wish to dwell on further.
I guess I was so interested I bought the book, then logged off and shut down the computer. Did a few things, perhaps. Then remembered that I'd forgotten something, maybe to check to make sure the book had a dustjacket--I'm very picky with such things now and prefer to pay more for a book with a jacket than less for one without. I think this was a book that was no longer in print at Amazon and maybe this was the only copy available, or else the only reasonably priced copy, but I'm not sure; I just know that I suddenly remembered something I'd forgotten so I went to turn the computer back on and go back online. If it was about the dustjacket, I must have found out it had one, for I logged off again, but then I think I remembered something ELSE and had to log on again! Ma wasn't saying anything, probably wasn't even paying attention, but I felt she might get irritated seeing me keep logging off and back on and even turning the computer back on. In truth I hate doing this myself--I hate redialing up and logging back on just for small things, it's such a waste of phone calls!--so the irritation I sensed from her was probably just more from me. "Forgot something and have to go online again," I said in exasperation, just in case she cared. She might have made a neutral noise or shrugged but other than that didn't respond much. I went back online, did whatever it was I had to do, and then presumably that was it. (Not sure if it was this dream or another one, but I think at some point when I logged on or off I noticed that our desktop had drastically changed and I guess our computer had been updated to a different operating system or something, and I mentioned this to somebody in the house; it was confusing but I figured I'd get used to it, at least it wasn't crashing or acting up like the computer usually does in my dreams!)
I now had the book with me at the computer--I seemed to be on the floor--and was browsing it or at least looking it over since I don't recall the contents. It was, as I said, a hardcover in a dustjacket. The jacket might have been medium blue or dark turquoise or something like that. I think it was a bit worn since it was a used book (I forgot to mention I'd bought it from Amazon Marketplace, which is items, often used, sold through third-party sellers) but that doesn't tend to bother me. I was just sitting on the floor turning this book over in my hands, looking it over.
It suddenly struck me how FAST I'd gotten this book--I'd only just ordered the thing online, and now BAM, here it was! I'd definitely have to leave the seller five-star feedback. Most of my feedback at Amazon basically gives the item's title, date of purchase, when it arrived, and a "Thank you!" but when something arrives particularly fast (like within 2-3 days, 4 days at most on a weekend, which is very rare), I'll often add, "WOW fast!" Well, I was definitely going to do that this time! ^_^ The thing was, the book had arrived SO fast that I couldn't leave feedback yet--for Amazon won't allow you to leave feedback on items you've only just purchased! I'd have to actually wait a few days and then leave it! I wished all my orders came through that fast!
There might have been more, but that's about all I remember. I wanted to take note of this dream because of the intriguing story involving Set and Isis.
Real-life associations--my book-buying activity in the dream was much similar to what I've been doing in reality for a while now. The day prior to the dream, I'd just been notified, a full week after purchase, that a book I'd ordered had in fact previously sold to someone else and I was refunded. Well, it happens, but I was doubly irked because 1. it's a hard-to-find book and my only other purchase options were a "power seller" (those sellers who have so much stuff they can't keep track of what they do and don't have in stock, plus they sometimes cheat you on S&H if the item isn't in stock or if you return it, even if they're in error--the one time so far I tried buying from such a seller on Amazon, they tried sending me the completely wrong item, and probably wouldn't have refunded me for return shipping, so I was fortunate to cancel the order early!) with less-than-satisfactory feedback (even a 98%, if from one of the big sellers, means they have a LOT of negatives) or a seller in Canada, on another site (not Amazon), who would take only credit card or check; and 2. it took them a WEEK to inform me it was out of stock and to refund me! Seriously, I bought it on June 1 and by the time I figure it should be arriving in the mail any time now, on June 8 I get refunded, then on the 9th I get an apology from the sellers. Talk about dawdling around! I also think this item had been listed for quite a while and I find it hard to believe it sold to somebody else JUST before I finally bought it, so I'm willing to bet that it had actually sold sooner than that and the seller hadn't bothered to remove the listing from Amazon--I suspect this frequently happens with the bigger sellers, they sell an item offsite somewhere and neglect to remove the outdated listings until another person tries to buy the item that already sold. So irritating and unprofessional! So, since this was a kind of obscure title and it had been listed there for quite a while prior to me trying to purchase it, I'm betting it sold quite a while previously and the seller hadn't updated this yet. I today left them a neutral feedback because they could have at least not taken a WEEK to inform me it had sold--there's no reason for it to take THAT long. I did get all my money refunded and the followup e-mail seemed sincerely apologetic, but that weeklong wait was unnecessary. Amazon sellers are supposed to SHIP things within two days (though some of the power sellers defy Amazon policy and take longer), so they should at least notify you of refunds within two days, too!
I also do sometimes have to go online for just a moment because I forgot to do something earlier, which means redialing and logging on again for trivial amounts of time, which bugs me. There was an incident in real life a while back where I bought a book at Amazon, logged off and turned off the computer, then, realizing that the book title was similar to another one that was cheaper and easier to find, had to turn the computer back on and go back online and check just to make sure. They weren't the same book, but I DID find out that there WAS a cheaper, more up-to-date edition of the book I'd just ordered available, so I had to contact the seller and ask them to cancel my order because it was too late to do so through Amazon. I agonized over this all night until the next day when the seller, thankfully, cancelled on me. Ironically, this book that was cheaper and easier to find is the exact same one that I was just informed above was out of stock!
The only "Set" association I can think of is that the day prior to the dream, I toyed with the idea of trying to draw some Egyptian gods since somebody online was bugging me to, when I'm rather discouraged with how my drawing skills were failing to improve. I was thinking of drawing a human-looking female, however--likely Hathor or Isis--and not Set.
In what I know of Egyptian mythology, in part of the Horus myth Set tries to rape his nephew Horus (I kid you not) but Horus tricks him and he and Isis conspire to inseminate Set with Horus's seed...I'm REALLY not making this up...and in another part of the myth, Horus gets so enraged at his mother Isis for saving Set's life that he cuts her head off (or else tears off her headdress). In the version of the story that I myself wrote, Set's attempted rape of Horus is modified to a nighttime attack with the intent to merely kill his nephew (because my Set would never in a million years try to rape or have sex with another male!), and Horus attacking his own mother seemed way too out of character, so I had Set kind of influence his thoughts so he started to go after her, then came to his senses and stopped. In my writing there is no attack by Set on Isis (even though he murdered her husband Osiris and tries to kill her son Horus) as he made a vow not to hurt her, though he does come close to slapping her once, and it's never directly stated but I think he does have some feelings for her (even though he too is married, to their other sibling Nephthys). Yes, Egyptian mythology is complicated, so I'll leave off now.
I should add that my memory of what the book looked like could have either been influenced or corrupted by the arrival of a book which is a hardcover with a similarly colored jacket; I've been wanting this book (which has nothing to do with Egyptian mythology), and was hoping it would arrive today, which it did. But I can't be sure whether my memory of what this book looks like (its cover was visible at Amazon) influenced the book in my dream, or its actual arrival just made me THINK this is what the dream book looked like. The number of pages, 300-400, was likely influenced by how many pages the previously sold book mentioned above has (I believe it has about 400 pages, which is how many the dream book probably had).
OH! An interesting possible association I just thought of. The book I was awaiting in reality, which arrived, is about dissociative identity disorder (multiple personalities); some time back I got a different book on the subject called The Osiris Complex (so named, the author explains, because Set cut Osiris into many pieces which his sister/wife Isis had to reassemble--themes of multiplicity and incest). Whereas the book I got in my dream, which looked similar to the DID book which arrived today (not The Osiris Complex, but the same subject), was indirectly related to Osiris (through Set and Isis). There might be a convoluted connection there, but I'm not sure. *shrug*
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Date of dream: Sunday, May 31, 2009
Level of Lucidity: N/A
Level of Cohesiveness:
Lucid Intent? No
This dream has been viewed 366 times.
Possibly part of a bigger selection of dreams. Vague by now, though this dream seemed more about the dialogue and ideas conveyed than about scenery.
I was in someone's company--at first it seemed to be my mother, but then it was an equal of some sort, maybe another woman around my age; possibly a cross between the two. I can't recall where the action started but we ended up outside near the garage; more on that when it comes. I don't know what we were talking about at first but somehow Dan Brown, author of The DaVinci Code, became the subject of discussion. I feel the person with me had a rather neutral opinion of Brown but she'd (I'll call this person a she) heard a lot of the criticism surrounding his skills and thought it was rather unfair--i. e., she wasn't really a fan of his, but didn't see why so many people were so critical of him. I was kind of agreeing but also trying to explain the reasoning behind the criticism.
"Well, Dan Brown isn't liked very much in literary circles," I said. (I'm paraphrasing and/or guessing at the basic gist of what I said throughout most of this.) "He's a genre writer, and often literary writers and readers look down on that kind of fiction. His work is geared toward a more popular audience. Some people regard that as selling out or pandering to mindless entertainment seeking..."
"Some people just like to read a good story and don't really care about all that literary crap," the person with me said (or something to that effect).
"Oh, I know!" I said, wanting to make it clear that just because I was explaining the opposing view didn't mean I myself personally espoused it. (My mother often feels that if I take the trouble to explain somebody's reasoning, I must be agreeing with them; I find this rather frustrating--I just like to see all sides of the story, is all.) "But certain critics will always look down on something like this. You can't please everyone. Some people believe a story should be about more than just mindless entertainment, not to call Dan Brown's work mindless, but it's not exactly the pinnacle of literary work, either. I'm not saying that it's bad but for some people it's pretty lousy."
We were now outside near the garage; it was sunny out but the light was coming from an odd direction, like it was high in the southwest (more where it is in winter though in my dream it was warm and green out); it seemed to be afternoon and I recall that the light was hitting the right side of the garage, right beside the entrance, and it was here that we stopped and I leaned against this part of the garage, still talking to this person; like my mother, she seemed to be losing interest because I was getting indepth about something (my mother dislikes me discussing anything for more than, say, a minute, and after that tends to tune me out and/or get irritated...another thing that frustrates me), so I felt I had to keep the conversation interesting to maintain her attention. "I don't think Dan Brown's work is as hideous as these people say it is," I said. "I haven't actually read any of his books but I picked up The DaVinci Code and Angels & Demons once and browsed them a bit and actually, his style seemed somewhat similar to mine. I mean, his characters actually use exclamation marks when they're exclaiming things! And they actually express emotion!" I said this in a mock-surprised tone, but meant it in all seriousness; I'll explain more on that in a bit.
The conversation got a bit weird here as I apparently, in order to illustrate Dan Brown's style and compare it to mine (which would somehow be a rebuttal of the criticism he receives, I don't really understand how, it wasn't meant in any egotistical way or anything), engaged in some sort of Active Imagination with Dan Brown, with me providing both sides of the dialogue. I can't quite recall what prompted this, but all of a sudden I was in the persona of Dan Brown as he approached me, greeted me, and started commenting on my stories. I don't know, perhaps I did this just to keep the person with me entertained.
"You're Rachel H., right?" "Dan Brown" asked me--remember, I was the one pretending to be him--I wasn't roleplaying and actually taking another person's identity as I do in other dreams (where I influence how others view me so they see me as another person), I was just standing here voicing both of us as people engaged in a dialogue (meaning the person with me would see just me, pretending to be me and pretending to be Dan Brown talking back to me). *shrug* I said yes; I myself didn't talk much, Dan Brown did most of the talking. "I've read some of your work," he said--perhaps he said he found it online, like at my Google Site, since it's not like I'm published! "I wanted to say that I really enjoyed what I read. I have to admit I don't follow all the storylines that closely--I've barely looked at the Manitou Island one, for example--but I've read the novels you have in the D Is For Damien series, and I thought they were really good! The action-adventure theme of them reminds me somewhat of my own work, you know, with mystery solving and chases and such. It's not really deep or ponderous work, but I don't mean that in a bad way; I think it's good to just have a fun escape in reading sometimes, and that's what those stories are."
I nodded, understanding, and decided that Dan Brown should give a concrete example of what he meant. "For example, the tunnels near the climax of D Is For Damien," he went on. "Here's something that is almost completely ludicrous and unbelievable, but you provided an explanation for their existence--old abandoned copper mines!--that made them fit into the plot and be just believable enough to enjoy the story. I like how you do that." I don't recall that I had him say as much, but here what we meant was, we were willing to put kind of unbelievable/ridiculous elements in our work--we didn't shy away from something just because it would make total realists roll their eyes--but at the same time, we did care enough to make such things just believable enough--for example, "Here's something that according to history (if in a historical story) didn't happen, and probably wouldn't happen, but it could have happened." I follow this principle in much of my own writing--to use a more frivolous example (which I freely admit is meant to be humorous), in my fantasy serial Escape From Manitou Island, a character from the pre-contact American Indian era says, "Silly Rabbit, tricks are for children!"--a purist would scoff of such a comment, "Somebody from that time period wouldn't say that!"--but if you look at it carefully, it COULD have been said--words and concepts such as "silly," "rabbit," "tricks," and "children" were in existence, so could have been used, no matter how improbable. In short, I don't take improbable to mean impossible or should not be used in your writing if you want to be taken seriously--improbable is just as much a possibility as anything else and IMO can be used effectively. I haven't read Dan Brown, like I said, but based on some criticism I've seen on him, he probably does similar things, and I felt a bit of kinship to him in this area.
I don't remember the rest of this, if there was any; I just clearly remember Dan Brown commenting on the tunnel scene in my novel and on how improbable it was but how I made it JUST the tiniest bit believable so it could be used in my story's world. I hoped this would help explain the criticism of Dan Brown's work and how it didn't necessarily mean it was bad, it just meant that it wasn't for everyone. I sympathized with him and felt, like this other person with me, that much of the criticism was unfair.
Re: exclamation marks and characters expressing emotion--much of what I know about the criticism regarding Dan Brown came from a writing forum I belonged to for about a year. It was a great forum--when you agreed with people. However, when you disagreed, others saw fit to let you know what a hack you must be--not in so many words, of course, but thinly veiled comments such as, "Good luck getting an editor to take you seriously if you do that!" were rampant, and were the very reason why I left. (See "No One Will Miss Me" for most of the story on that--ironically, my reason for leaving had to do with the usage of dreams in fiction.) A frequent gripe by the more "literary-minded" people on the forum was excessive use of exclamation marks, speech tags other than "said" (e. g., "screamed," "whispered," "whimpered," "muttered," etc.), adverbs (e. g., "said angrily," "said accusingly," "said sadly," etc.), and bodily motions (eyerolling, shrugging, etc.). Such writers would actually say things, like, "If you have more than five exclamation marks in your novel, it's probably too much." (I'm not making that up. FIVE exclamation marks per 80,000 words or so.) Writers were expected to properly convey the way characters say things merely by the words being used--if you use exclamation marks for an exclamation, it's considered redundant (which I find weird--are question marks redundant in a question?); bodily motions are often considered cliched and trite (people there complained that they never "shake their head to clear it" and "only teenage girls roll their eyes"--things that I know from my own experience are not true); and if you use speech tags other than "said," or adverbs, you're either making your characters do the impossible (re: "sobbed," "How can you sob and talk at the same time?" people have complained--I know from experience that it can be done!), or you're just relying on weak devices to describe speech, therefore you're a weak writer. (OT but I'll add here that the usage of dreams as character-illustration devices was also regarded as "weak" in this forum. As are prologues, flashbacks, italics, and just about everything that most writers use regularly.) Writers are apparently to use only the bare minimum of devices to explain character speech and actions and if the reader doesn't properly get it, that's the reader's problem. To present an extreme example, say I have my character painfully stub her toe--I should just write:
Charmian stubbed her toe. "Ow," she said. (Or, to more properly follow the advice given in the forum, I should omit "she said" entirely--Charmian stubbed her toe. "Ow"--meaning if someone else is in her company, and they say, "Ow," in place of her as if to sympathize, the reader will have no clue it's not Charmian talking.)
--and that should properly convey the idea that she's yelling in pain. If I were to write it the way I myself would write it--e. g., Charmian stubbed her toe. "Ow!" she yelled, surprised and irritated--there would be no end of criticism on the forum regarding how weak a writer I am because I have to rely on unnecessary devices such as--punctuation, italics, and speech tags!
I've recently realized that a problem I have with much modern fiction is this very principle--that a writer must use the minimum number of words necessary, must strip everything down to its bare essentials and hope that the reader gets the gist of things--the characters in most modern fiction don't use exclamation marks when exclaiming, they don't say things angrily or sadly or whatever, they don't scream things or sigh things or hiss things, they just "say" things blandly and the reader is expected to realize that they're not just blandly saying them, they're actually screaming in rage or quaking in fear. My mind is very literal, and I need the writer to actually SAY how things are being said and done--otherwise, my brain does not fill in the gaps. If somebody just says, "Ow," then I take it they're just saying, "Ow" unless the writer tells me otherwise. According to this school of thought, the writer is not allowed to describe how characters talk and do things. Hence I miss all the nuances of character speech and action, and thus characters come across as terribly dull and non-reactionary to me. They just kind of stand around and watch stuff happen and say, "Ow." Contrasted to this, my own characters seem positively histrionic--but they're just reacting the way I and the people I know in real life would react. Maybe I live in a dysfunctional area. Though all the people I see on TV act the same way, using exclamation marks and bodily motions when they talk; for some reason it's just not allowed in books. *shrug*
As mentioned in the dream, one thing I noticed when I briefly browsed The DaVinci Code and Angels & Demons was that the characters actually exclaim things--something I just don't see that much anymore in modern fiction. A few pages of character dialogue--e. g., I think it was Robert Langdon reacting with shock on seeing the Illuminati signature or whatever--surprised me because it reminded me strongly of how I myself write, in particular my D Is For Damien novels. I'm NOT saying my work is anywhere near as good as Dan Brown's, just that we share a few stylistic techniques which, from what I saw on the forum, are heavily reviled by more "literary" writers (and sadly, even some genre writers), but apparently are publishable after all. I'm willing to bet that such things as this are part (not all, but a significant part) of the reason for the excessive criticism leveled at Dan Brown by the people on the forum--he uses exclamation marks and writes about what might have but probably didn't happen and such, what a weak writer! I also suspect that a lot of the criticism is sour grapes from people who consider their work better and are angry that a hack like Dan Brown actually not only got published, but succeeded. I admit, I once opened up Stephanie Meyer's Twilight, made it through all of a few sentences before having to give up, gagging, it was so awful--I see no talent there whatsoever, but she's popular, gotta give her that. Who wouldn't be bitter that such tripe gets all the accolades while theirs can't even get published or, if it does, doesn't get anywhere near the amount of recognition? I'm often angry seeing total crap--most of it unfinished and/or tossed together without much effort--get slews of attention online, whereas the stuff I slave over and actually finish is lucky to get a comment once in a blue moon. At least I can admit it.
I won't dare say EVERYONE who criticizes Dan Brown feels that way, but I bet many do, even if they don't realize it--why harp on the guy so much otherwise, right? Spending massive amounts of time on a forum nitpicking him isn't going to hurt his sales much--it seems such people could put their time to better use on their own work. I just recalled a particularly arrogant comment one of the members made on that site when there was a Dan Brown flamefest going on--he said that even though Brown was due to have a third book out, since he (the forumgoer) had last criticized Brown's work online, Brown had not yet put out another written work; maybe he'd finally taken the hint (and quit writing)? Well take a look which author is slated to have a new book (The Lost Symbol) out soon...? I'm sure it was meant humorously, but the comment just seemed incredibly hubristic and petty--like megastar Dan Brown would quit writing based on the criticism leveled at him by one person on some blog or forum. Very sour grapes. I've gotten worse than that and I'm still writing, nobody that I am! Plus I think it's snotty to WANT anybody to quit writing; you can always just avoid reading their work if you hate it. Besides, as already said, not everybody is out to write the great next literary work; I try to give my work some deeper meaning, but my primary purpose is merely to entertain. (I bet most of my readers miss the Jungian symbolism in my stuff, so I better make it entertaining!) I don't see this as so bad, but apparently some people do.
I also recall people in the historical fiction area of the forum grousing about writers using the improbable (but still possible) in their works, picking and choosing what they themselves would accept and what they'd reject (i. e., they'll freely accept certain improbabilities but will reject others, when both are about equal in terms of improbability). I know I do the same thing at times, but I try to be more accepting if a writer at least does their homework and owns up to such things with a disclaimer; however, some forumgoers think even that isn't acceptable.
Hence was my reasoning for all the defending of an author whose works I've admittedly never read (yet), though I must say, the Active Imagination bit with Dan Brown complimenting my work was rather odd. It was meant merely to explain the similarities in our styles and how they aren't necessarily bad, NOT to puff me up or call my writing good, but in the dream, it did feel rather good that Dan Brown enjoyed my work...even if his words were coming out of my mouth.
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Date of dream: Monday, May 25, 2009
Level of Lucidity: N/A
Level of Cohesiveness:
Lucid Intent? No
This dream has been viewed 407 times.
This is actually from two or three days ago, hence is rather vague by now, though I didn't recall all the details after I had it.
Basically, I was outside the house, evening seemed to be coming on since it was getting dark, and I believe my brother Eric and a friend or two of his were nearby also, doing their own thing. I was over by the south side of the house which in reality is near some maple woods. I had the digital camera with me and was just kind of meandering around when I looked down into the woods--down, for now it seemed like there was a STEEP slope (more like drop, but it didn't seem sharp and vertical like a drop, so I'll say slope) going downward, then way at the bottom, the land sloped upwards again (much more gradually) toward the south, and down among the widely spaced trees was a huge wide river. It was dark, maybe brown, and seemed to bend at a sharp angle (going from right to left?), but I just can't overstate how hugely wide it was. The surface wasn't calm or violent; it looked like water you'd find near slow-moving rapids, where there are occasional rocks just beneath the surface disrupting the flow a bit. (While the river seemed to be upon a slope, it didn't seem like a waterfall; can't explain.) As such it probably wasn't really deep. It was growing quite dark down in this giant hollow or valley in the woods.
It suddenly struck me what a beautiful photographic opportunity this would make, and I was surprised that I'd never noticed before. If I didn't have the camera on me previously, I got it now, and prepared myself to take some pictures.
I was now stepping up right to the edge of this drop, for now it was more like a drop, but the scenery had changed drastically. I think there was still the valley/hollow with trees in it, but at the same time, right over the edge of this drop there was a body of water (even though this would have a moment ago been in midair!)...I can't properly describe this. On the one hand, it's like the water was close, right up to the edge, because I was toeing the ledge and afraid of falling in. On the other hand, it's more like the water was at least several feet below because it was below me and the ledge was also like a cliff. And on the OTHER other hand, my actions with the camera--holding it way out to take a picture--indicated that the water was in fact set back from the ledge somewhat. So I can't properly explain it. All I know is there was some water over this ledge and I wished to photograph it. This either replaced the river, or the river disappeared or I forgot about it as I now paid attention to this.
As I already said, I had to step right up to this earthen ledge, my toes right at the edge of it, to get the best shot, and this made me very nervous, though nowhere near as nervous as I'd be in reality. I think it was my right foot that was up on the edge. The soil, which might have been sandy, seemed a bit loose. Even though I had to stretch my arm way out and point the camera down to get the best views of this water, I could also somehow clearly see into the LCD screen (dream incongruity), and in fact, I used the screen to look at what was actually out of my range of sight, like someone might use a periscope. This water wasn't very far across--maybe a few feet at most--probably with another grassy ledge on the other side; I'm not sure of how far it went from side to side, but it was apparently VERY very deep. At first I saw just the surface of the water itself, dark, brown or black in the lowering light; but then somehow it was like there was light shining down into it, without reflecting off it, and I could see what was beneath the surface. I was amazed to see what I can only describe as a cave. Again, this is kind of hard to explain; it was pitch black in the middle, but to right and left could be seen the sides of some kind of stone or mineral formation(s) descending into the darkness. They were kind of tan colored, lumpy, and tapering/layered like stalactites, but I knew they were in fact the walls of a tunnel or cave which went way down underwater, probably getting narrower the further down it went. They were brightly lit at the top, but grew fainter and more indistinct the deeper they went, until they vanished into the dark. I was awed and delighted by this scene, thinking, "Wow, this'll make some great pictures!" I remember moving the camera around a lot as I scanned the view, using the LCD screen to discover more, stretching my arm as far as I could to try to get a better view. I lost the view once or twice and had to look around to find it again.
This is really hazy by now, but I think I took some pictures, yet on the last picture I took, my knuckle pushed against a button on the camera or something and somehow this photo ended up in a different place on the camera card from where the other photos were located, like it was isolated or put in a different folder (though there's only one folder, the default one, on the card). This distracted me from taking more photos as I tried to figure out how to put this photo back in the right place, and I was vaguely frustrated, but it was nowhere near as bad as other camera malfunction dreams I have. I think I went into the house to do this and the lights were on and Ma was home; I really wanted to fix it and take more pictures but felt I was losing my chance.
There might have been more to this.
Regarding the narrowing cave descending underwater into darkness, the closest comparison I can think of is Kitch-Iti-Kipi (more properly spelled Kitchi-Tikipi, "Big Spring"), a big natural spring located in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. We visited there last summer. The water is the most amazing crystal-clear aqua color so you can see all the way to the bottom. You go out on this raft with a big opening in the bottom through which you can look down into the spring and see the sand and stone bottom and fallen trees littering it here and there. You can even see the sand bubble as water comes up into the spring from below. I took many photos of this and posted them online; in a couple you can see a ladder descending from the opening in the raft bottom, and though the spring can't be THAT terribly deep, still, this ladder going down into the water makes it look like you'd go falling way out into space. The pictures that stuck with me most, however, were of a huge, dark, circular opening in the spring's bottom. It's just this gaping black hole that descends into nothingness. Even just writing about it now creeps me out and makes me want to keep my feet away from the floor lest something grab me, wondering how deep it is or where it leads to or what might be in it. It was like a cave or tunnel leading away from the spring and it was just eerie. I dropped a stone into the water and watched it slowly spiral toward the bottom and I had spooky thoughts of falling from the raft and drifting down toward the bottom and maybe falling into that hole and falling forever! My body would never be recovered--maybe it would even be sucked out into Lake Michigan! Anyway, with this spring, nearer land you can see slabs of stone and they descend down into the spring and this is the spring's side; although more horizontal than vertical, this, combined with the hole, are what remind me most of the tapering-sided cave in my dream. I can't properly explain my feelings regarding this, but it's like...a hole within a hole. You've already got one hole, in the body of water, which is evidently deep, but then you have an even DEEPER hole within the hole, and it's so deep you have no idea where it might go. It seems bottomless. That just creeps me out no end. I found the water cave in my dream to be beautiful, but again, there was an eerie feeling of, where does this thing lead? How deep does it go? Does it ever end at all? I hope that at least partly explains it.
I'm puzzled by the knowledge that my brother and his friend(s) were nearby in the dream since we didn't interact, and he moved away from here years ago; his presence seemed superfluous. The feeling I had in the dream was akin to older days when he used to live here and we were both still kids, and he would be up in his room listening to music which blared out the window as I wandered the yard playing by myself, especially over near the south woods. I liked listening to his music and incorporated it into my play, even though he himself didn't play with me.
Please compare the woodland imagery with that in "Big Two-Rivered Woods" and "Finder Of Feathers"; compare my surprise at having previously overlooked such a sight to the dreams "My Fort View," "The Overlooked View," and "Fragment: Victorian Cottages."
I mark this as "recurring" only because of the malfunctioning camera theme, which was rather secondary.
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