The Big Honking Sort-Of Mackinac Island Dream
Level of Lucidity:
Level of Cohesiveness:
Lucid Intent? No
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I woke up two hours early just to try to get down this incredibly detailed and longwinded dream. -_- Seriously, the amount of detail was just ridiculous. I took notes, then decided to stay awake to get it down, but already it's fading!
Here we go.
It basically involved a trip to Mackinac Island. Which is another reason why I take note of it, though Mackinac Island played a very tiny part. Unfortunately. Parts of this might be out of order but my earliest memory of the dream is of getting ready for my trip. Strange thing is, it was kind of like a class outing or a plane trip or something with a lot of other people. I was going up this metal staircase with lots of others before and behind me. It seemed to be an outside location like in a town/city, maybe on Mackinac Island already. The staircase was just this flimsy metal thing running along a wall or building on the left; toward the top this wall was also of flimsy metal with small holes in it like a grate or something. It was gray. It seemed sunny out. At the top and maybe to the left (behind/near the wall) were some "officials" or like tour guides or camp counselors, I can't properly describe their function, it's like there were these park people all over the place to help us out and make sure we behaved ourselves--they didn't act very official, it was more like we were the kids and they were the supervisors to keep an eye on us and reprimand us if we did something wrong. I guess they were watching us come up and we were to check in with them or something at the top.
The thing was, far too many people for safety got on this staircase. I knew it was flimsy but got on anyway because I was in a hurry and thought that maybe if I prompted the slower people in front of me, they would get moving; I also didn't want to wait forever while other people got ahead of me. As the throng of us stood upon this staircase which faced open air on the right, I knew it was far too crowded, and surely enough, the entire thing began to lean to the right, away from the wall, starting to fall over from our sheer weight. The other people ahead/above me started to grow alarmed--I feel they were mostly seniors, tourists, who didn't know much about how things work--but I grabbed out at the wall to the left--wrapping my fingers through the gratelike holes--and held on, pulling the swaying staircase back toward it. I had to do this several times, holding on tighter each time because it seemed nobody else had the sense of mind to follow my example. So I was mainly responsible for keeping the stairs from toppling while we all managed to safely make our way up and over the top. It was hard doing that and I was kind of annoyed that nobody helped me much. I remember I had to loop my fingers through the tiny holes and really hold on.
I made it safely over the steps and started walking, though I can't say where, I was still in a public atmosphere with lots of people. I began planning where I wanted to go. I thought about the East Bluff, I think, or else something far out at the north end of the island, but then remembered that I had really wanted to visit Cave of the Woods, which I had to eschew the last time as it takes so very long to walk out there. I wondered if I should start the walk up the middle of the island or go around the shore? Going around the shore takes longer. For me right now it was more about the destination than the trip, so I began considering having a taxi (horse drawn, of course) take me there. I didn't know how to call one, but if I had one take me and drop me off, it would save me so much time to do more this trip. I really wanted to see the cave again.
I ended up in a large mall, the main area with all the different areas fronting it, though this seemed more to be the food court. I realized I hadn't eaten and it was breakfast time. I really wanted to eat something normal for a meal, like sausages and eggs or something, but almost all the food I came across was sweeter things, like pancakes and syrup, which to me is more like dessert than breakfast; I didn't really want to eat something sweet as a main meal, to me sweet stuff is for dessert. There were lots of people walking around picking what to eat. There were food "stands" (for want of a better word) all along the right and left and an area like an island going up the middle, and people running all the different stands, demonstrating how the food was made and tempting passersby with their goods. I believe I saw pancakes with banana slices and syrup running over them (I saw something similar in an IHOP commercial or something last night), and little cookie balls or donut holes or something with melted toppings like caramel poured over them, just all sorts of wonderful delights. I ignored most of them or gave them just a passing glance before something at last caught my eye.
I gravitated toward a food area along the right where a young Russian or Ukrainian woman, looking much like Sarah Silverman, was demonstrating to a few onlookers how her own specialty was made. It was some kind of ice cream cookie sandwich. At first all I saw was the vat with the ice cream in it to be scooped out, one big rectangular vat, but then there seemed to be some smaller ones in front of it with other flavors and some sorts of toppings. The main vat of ice cream was white (vanilla) with blue swirls or something representing a fruit like blueberry; other flavor swirls were available, and the toppings could be put on afterward. She was explaining how she would put the ice cream on the cookie, then toppings on that, and scooped at the ice cream with the blue swirls and said something like, "If you manage to reach or scrape up the swirls, then you're extra fortunate," meaning the swirls were berry flavored and very good and though there was more vanilla in there than swirl, you were fortunate to get some swirls on your dessert. She then quipped, "Back in Russia, they would say of this, the ice cream alone, 'This has everything!'"--meaning that in Russia they were so impoverished that just to be given the ice cream itself with the flavor swirl in it was considered paradise, never mind putting it on a cookie and then putting toppings on it! The others murmured their laughter. I should clarify that I knew she was Russian not only from this comment (if she actually said "Russia," I'm not sure) but from her accent; it was pretty obvious.
As already said, I saw only the ice cream and toppings at first. I was sorely tempted by this even though to me it wasn't a "real" meal. I saw the price of such a cookie on some tissue paper covering the cookies or something and it said $8.99 per cookie, I believe; "Yikes," I thought, "that's pretty pricey!" That turned me off, but then again, I hadn't seen how big the cookies were. The woman at last drew one out to put the ice cream atop it and this thing was HUGE! It was like the size of a plate! It was just a giant sugar or oatmeal cookie, and she loaded it up with ice cream; I waited for her to put another cookie atop this to make the sandwich but never saw her do so, so perhaps it was just ice cream on one cookie and then toppings; I thought that might be messy to eat but it would surely be messy anyway as it would be melting while you ate it. I was still warring with myself. I really should not get an ice cream cookie for my breakfast. But my sweet tooth began to win out. "The sugar will keep me alert enough through the first part of my trip," I reasoned, "and I can always eat a proper meal later in the day, and bring along a small snack. How often do I treat myself like this? Sure I hate eating sweets for a main meal, but this has caught my eye and looks so very good that I wouldn't mind eating a sweet for a meal this once." So I believe I bought one of the huge ice cream cookies and ate it as I moved through the mall/food court, though I don't remember doing so; I do seem to recall that my fingers were sticky afterward and I was either looking for a place to wash them or else found someplace like a drinking fountain; I believe I was a bit embarrassed to be doing this in front of people, washing my hands at a fountain. I then proceeded to seek a snack to take along with me, I think.
I came to the back of the food court and there were some areas opening up from this that piqued my curiosity since they were areas I hadn't known existed (shades of "hidden rooms" or previously unknown rooms in my own house). It's hard to remember all that I saw. Firstly, in the back wall I believe, I saw briefly into this room with dark wooden walls and carpeted levels or steps leading up to a dais or some such with a wooden construction on it like a tier or gallery for seating people; hard to describe; it was carved with smallish holes or a lattice pattern and I saw only the left end of it around the edge of the doorway/entryway. The carpeting was probably dark bluish-gray and this area was slightly elevated by a couple of steps; there might have been a window high above behind it, maybe not, but the atmosphere was very much like a legal court. There was some diffuse lighting within like soft lights. I caught a quick glimpse, then moved on as I felt I wasn't supposed to be back here, then went to peer in more since I was just so curious about what it was like back in there, surely they'd forgive me for just looking in. Things kept changing though. First there was that room, then, to the left (in the left wall, I believe), another room with a wide opening, set back in the wall, the walls painted black like in an arcade; I can't recall what was in it, but there were some other people wandering around back here with me, equally curious, and at one point this area seemed to be replaced by a normal door which somebody pushed open a bit. A young woman cried out in surprise and we caught a glimpse of just her head and arm and leg or some such as she darted aside, and there was a man's leg too or something and we knew he'd been sitting in a chair and the two of them had been making out--I felt they were both young professionals, she probably with light hair in a bun, and the room they were within looked like an office with cream-colored walls and light carpeting and bright warm lighting. We just caught that glimpse, nothing too inappropriate, but we knew what had been going on and we chuckled in amusement before moving on. The room with the gallery or whatever seemed to have been replaced by a glass-fronted display and I now looked at this in great interest.
It was kind of like one of the displays at Fort Michilimackinac. It was mostly carved wood, quite large but starting a few feet up from the floor, just set back in the wall with glass in front of it. It was like wood panels or something ornately carved...I can't quite describe the function. It was to depict scenes, but it was also decorative, like, say, saintly scenes that are used to decorate a church. It had to do with knights and friars or some such, maybe holy knights like the Templars; there was a row of them standing to the right, at one point looking like knights, at another point like monks or early church saints, bearded men in robes carved into the wood and painted. I don't recall what was to the left but toward the middle, and around and above this row of men, there were just ornate patterns in the wood, like...again I can't describe it. Like archways within archways within archways, just these nested curves in the wood. Very detailed. Those parts weren't painted, just stained. The entire thing was polished to a mild/soft shine. It was quite well done. There were these small lights shining on it and they kept shifting color to emphasize the work, and there was a button a passerby could push to change the color manually, else it just kept changing itself. The main colors shifted between amber and green; I recall the carved men first having a warm amber tint, then shifting to a cool green tint, and I was trying to decide which looked nicer; I figured amber would since it was more natural, but the green was nice too and brought out certain details. I considered pushing the button, but didn't know if I should or was allowed, plus the colors were shifting on their own, so I didn't.
Then either this shifted or there was just another room--this area now led back into a labyrinth built just for fun. It was merely this area of intersecting halls, again with cream-colored walls and carpeting and nice lighting, they just curved around and around crazily and met and led into small rooms and back in circles where you came from and all that. A few people found this before me and entered it eagerly, including an older male, like in his fifties. "A labyrinth!" I exclaimed when I found it, then said, "Cool!" and went in; I felt my reaction greatly amused the man, at least. I really wanted to get a look around, wander a few halls and see if I ended up lost or in some weird location, but after going through and around in a hall or two, and finding just a couple of small rooms or open areas (seeing other people through hall openings here and there at various points, it was quite active but not overly busy), my focus started to waver and I couldn't keep it up; I seemed to exit the labyrinth or else it just stopped existing in my dream. I was kind of disappointed that I didn't get to explore further and find hidden rooms with possibly scary contents. I guess I just realized I had other things to do.
Now the back area of the mall was like a store where you could buy all kinds of cheesy knickknacks, and of course I was interested. This part was so incredibly detailed that I despaired of getting it all down. Still I'll try. There was just lots of mass-produced tacky stuff that I still was drawn to because it was sparkly, ha. Parts of this might have actually come after I met a certain person, coming up soon. But there were necklaces, which I was mainly drawn to; I remember one consisting of a clear glass marble with a little slice of frosted glass protruding from the front similar to part of the ring of a planet (only "naturally" formed and kind of warped/wavy), and there was glitter within this frosted part; I compared two or three of these to see which was prettiest and I recall that one with a slice of glass less appealing in shape than the other nevertheless had more glitter within it, so I was debating which one to get or if I should even get one at all since there was so much stuff and I had to watch my money. These were on a light leather or hide cord. There was a section with cheesy American Indian-themed stuff, more to the left, including pendants (of varnished antler slices or bone?) with Kokopelli-like figures (I wondered if it was him, but first it seemed like a generic pictograph figure with a chief's headdress, then it was a hunched man with a flute similar to Kokopelli but I knew it wasn't him), I'm afraid I can't recall much more of those but they were very cheesy. On a small wall area to the left of these were pieces of frosted glass or some other material with Indian designs on them but I knew these weren't ready made, they were like art glass for making your own projects so they were unfinished and I wasn't interested in them. They were hanging/set on this particleboard wall like in a hardware store or something. Then there was this rack or something with little books or journals in it; I thought they were journals at first but then realized they had quotes in them and one had to do with American Indian lawyer humor or something. Just these little hardcover gift books. Yet another area--away from this area, more to the right, I believe--had these little jelly animals--they were small toy animals, able to be held in one hand (slightly smaller than Beanie Babies, I would say), and the main body was of translucent rubber filled with dyed jelly, most of them bright blue, others bright pink or green or whatever, so you could squeeze them and they were squishy; they had heads and legs and tails which didn't seem to be made of the same stuff so were just appended to the squishy body. They were glittery and satiny and very colorful and fun. They had cats, dogs, and various other animals I can't recall; first there was this one size that fit in the palm of the hand, but then there were miniature ones too, maybe like an inch or so long, which included rats; most of these mini ones were attached to things like little purses so they were meant to be more decorative than standalone like the bigger jelly animals. I knew these were a popular item in the dream.
"Oh! Squishy animals!" I cried; there were still people around, now including a young woman in her teens or slightly older (though she still seemed older than me) who was off to my right and showed amusement at my childish reaction. I pulled one such animal off the display--it was bright cerulean blue, probably a dog, maybe a cat--and proceeded to squish it in my hand. "I love these things, I've always wanted one!" I looked through them to see which one I might want most; though they were small, I was drawn to the little rats on their purses. I wondered if I could remove one from its purse after purchase since I didn't like the purses themselves, they were quite tacky and cheaply made, like plastic or vinyl or something.
There was more stuff but I'm afraid it's fading from my memory even as I type, *sigh.* Just that general tacky touristy kind of stuff, very poorly made but appealing to the eye. I seemed to move more to the left again (the animals were toward the middle of the back wall) and away from the back a bit, and ended up with a sort of shelf or something in front of me, as tall as my chest or neck, and there was another young woman around my age on the other side of it so only our heads were visible to each other. She was somewhat taller than I am. Without directly looking at her, I nonetheless got a good enough look at her hairstyle and facial shape and knew who she was. She, too, saw me but said nothing at first, instead talking to a clerk or someone nearby as if asking about the items; I listened to her voice, and yes, it was her. I believe she asked me something directly, I can't recall what, but I looked right in her eyes as if surprised and not knowing who she was though I was perfectly aware it was Dianne B. (see "Another First Day Of School" and its prequels). We made eye contact (very unusual for me), and I got a good clear look at her face in the dream (also very unusual). She seemed a little puffy around the cheekbones and such, like she'd been ill (and I knew she had been, since Dianne in reality has multiple sclerosis), and I believe her eyes were somewhat different from in reality, but the facial shape and hair were just about as I remembered them from back when I knew her in reality. (I haven't a clue what she looks like now, though I know she saw me once when I didn't notice.) I answered her question without acknowledging that I knew who she was, and we briefly went back to our own things.
I think my reaction had bothered her. She wondered if I even remembered who she was. I'm afraid I can't quite recall how it went exactly, but as we both started to walk away, she confronted me again, a bit indirectly, perhaps plaintively saying, "You don't remember me, do you?" or something, not sure. I just know she was upset that I seemed to have forgotten or was ignoring her. I quickly made it clear that I in fact remembered who she was and had never forgotten, I just figured she hadn't remembered me or cared to say so. Not sure if I told her that second part though. Once she realized I did know she was Dianne, she started to walk away again, seeming upset; I knew I had to rectify the situation before she left with the wrong idea so I hurried after her.
The situation in reality is that a few months ago I at last wrote to Dianne again, not expecting a reply since I wrote her almost a year or so ago and heard nothing. But she and her partner both wrote back encouragingly. And now I have AGAIN delayed responding, though I hope she understands when I do since I've been going through a rough time lately. If not, then I don't hear back from her, I guess. I'm used to such things by now. In fact I feel bad having bothered her when I'm so slow to respond. In the dream, this still stood. "Dianne, wait," I insisted, trying to catch her attention as she was so hurt she didn't even want to look at me. "I was going to reply and I still am, I've just been having a hard time lately," I explained. "But it's not because I don't plan to reply. I'm glad we ran into each other though, now we can just catch up here. I'm really glad to see you, I hope you're doing okay."
At first Dianne was still upset. Somehow, she'd gotten the idea that I had only tried to re-befriend her...in some attempt to gain her money! Like I was just using her for some money she had; as far as I know the real Dianne is by no means rich, but somehow in the dream she had a good sum of emergency money or something, either for a disability or an inheritance from a relative, something like that. I was just beyond stunned that she believed this. "I don't want your money!" I exclaimed. "I'm on disability myself. That pays the bills. I have everything I need!" That seemed like an exaggeration even in the dream, but it's the gist of what I meant--namely, that not only did I not want her money but I didn't really need it. Yeah, it's good to have more money, but not if you're using somebody else for it. I just couldn't believe she had such an idea. I protested at length that this was not true, I just wanted to be her friend, and though she was reluctant to believe it, she started to thaw a little.
I felt I could get her to trust me more just by continuing to talk with her, chattering about our lives. First she seemed to have had a woman with her, who I assumed was her partner, but then she had a boyfriend instead and that surprised me; I realized she was comfortable with either. It might have been later in the dream, when we sat down to eat or just talk or something, and for some reason, maybe just catching up, I first mentioned the current boyfriend's name, which she'd just told me--it was Reggie--then I tried to say her ex-partner's name but almost forgot it. I just kind of paused or stalled and finally Dianne said, "Lynn," just as I said it myself, and I nodded and said, "Right, Lynn. I remembered that, I just wasn't quite sure and didn't want to get the name wrong and look like an idiot!" I really didn't want to get her friends' names wrong since it would make me look ignorant.
Dianne was still just getting to trust me, so we went to look at the knickknacks together in an attempt to warm to each other. In the back of the store/mall again, I found little carved wooden animals including an owl--they were stylized so it was just kind of an oval shape, about an inch or so tall, golden wood with the face and details burned in, maybe a bit of carving, and it was smoothed and had varnish put over it--there were a few different styles and sizes but the owls were what I was drawn to. "Oh how cute!" I exclaimed, but looked at the price and it was like $18 or more, I murmured, "Cute, but I can't really justify spending that much on something so trivial!" and so put it back. Dianne too was looking at things with me. I hoped she wouldn't think I was being profligate or anything; truth was, most of this stuff was pretty useless, but I so very much wanted just a few things that were pretty, such as the little marble necklace (which I believe was only $5-something). I at last selected about three or four small things such as necklaces, then moved on as I realized I really had to get going on my Mackinac Island trip, I couldn't spend the entire day just shopping though I felt maybe I'd once done that before (I never have) and had enjoyed it; I just didn't want to miss out on walking around and looking at the landmarks. (This part of the dream seemed to indicate I was already on the island, though I'm not sure if I was.)
There was a further brief part with Dianne and her boyfriend Reggie that I don't recall well, they were just standing there with me, and I believe Reggie was in a dark T-shirt and baseball cap; he wasn't bad looking, probably dark hair and a somewhat stocky or muscular build, but he seemed vaguely hostile toward me and I knew he was jealous of our friendship. (Perhaps he was the one who had given Dianne the idea I was after her money?) I think I made a comment to Dianne (out of Reggie's hearing) that I was surprised she had a boyfriend but it was fine by me; in fact, for some reason I felt more comfortable with her now, though Reggie's possessiveness worried me--did he really think I was some sort of competition? I did hope he'd get over that since it was silly. I didn't want to intrude on their relationship.
I'm not sure if she was still in my company when I started to head back toward the mall and came close to a checkout area where there was a selection of novelty journals in a cardboard rack/stand; one had fairy illustrations by this artist known for his fairy art, a modern guy; it had a frosted plastic cover with a colorful paper image under it, similar to a journal I have in reality; I pulled this down, hoping the female cashier right near it wouldn't get irritated (I think she glanced at me, then went back to helping who was with her), and flipped through it. Each page was in full color, so much so that it would be hard to write in it like a journal, but then I realized that some pages were more like for scrapbooking and others had lines on them for writing; some were black, some were more like medium tan and had some lines for writing on, but all had this guy's fairy illustrations. They were in a kind of wobbly, childlike style that I didn't much care for, but the colors were so bright and it was just so nice that I was tempted. There would be so many pages with one design, then so many with another design, so there wasn't a completely different design on every page, just different designs every so many pages. This in fact might have been the item that was $5-something, quite reasonable, but I wasn't sure if it was something I really wanted so I think I put it back; I'd have preferred prettier illustrations. I don't recall what the themes of the other journals were. In this part of the dream the setting was more like a KMart or Wal-Mart than a mall. The cashier was a kind of sulky-looking teen girl or some such but she gave me no trouble.
After that, Dianne and Reggie seemed to exit the dream and I was on my own again, returning to the food court. I felt I should really get a snack to eat later on in my trip, something better than a sugary thing, but again, sugary things were all I could seem to find. Again there were the food areas to left and right (I was going back the opposite way now) and a long island down the middle; I didn't mention it before but the walls and floor were dark grays and blacks and maybe browns, the floor possibly in variegated stonelike tiles. I paid more attention to this island area since people were serving themselves here and I wouldn't have to deal with a clerk. I specifically remember an area with ice cream of various flavors that had Nutter Butter swirls or topping in it and you could scoop this and make your own dessert though I'm not sure how or where you paid for it. There was a young spiky-haired businessman-type guy in a dark suit here doing just that; he might have resembled this guy I've seen in clips of Ugly Betty (Daniel Eric Gold?) but I'm not sure. I found it amusing to see this professional guy here scooping away at Nutter Butter ice cream; it indicated that he had a frivolous side. I was sorely tempted to make myself one of these but I'd already had a sweet and this would probably melt, though my arguments against such things were a lot more apathetic now. I know there were lots of other items, including the caramel-covered balls, but I don't recall them, just all sorts of really tasty-looking sugary things. I think I at last came across some more appropriate items like sausages and potatoes but could not decide what I should do. What I wanted most, I realized, was a bottle of water to take on my walk, but I could find none. I wondered if I would have to start walking and then get a bottle at one of the regular stores on the island, but I remembered how the last time I'd sought just a plain bottle of tea at a regular store, I could not find a regular store, just tourist shops! So I was worried about that, where would I find a regular item like just plain water?
I now reached the opposite end of this main area and back here (though in truth this was more toward the "front") it was more like an arcade or something, low-set room(s) opening off or leading off toward the mall entrance or whatnot; it was dimmer like the lighting back here wasn't fully on, and there weren't as many people. I think of Queen Latifah so maybe she was nearby. There was this music playing, music that I know; I had a song in mind when I awoke but I can't recall what it was. Now as I type this, however, the song "I Want Nothing" by Kerli is running through my head, so perhaps that was it. Over toward the right (though I turned around so it was more to my left) was a standing sign telling how late the mall was open--it said something like, "Open from ___ (insert time here) until now," and I found that incredibly odd--did that mean it was going to close right now, and how could one even tell what exactly "now" meant?--but I felt it was just the mall authorities being amusing, the place wasn't getting ready to shut down right now, it was more like it was simply saying the mall was still open. This sign seemed like one of those black felt ones that you insert the white plastic letters into, using tabs placed in little gaps, I can't explain it, like a ring display or signs they use outside some stores; you could change the lettering.
For some reason I started kind of pretending I was my character Detective Kristeva (see "Remembering Other Rooms" and "My Own Missing Time" for a bit on him); I was imagining one of his personalities being out here (probably the personality I call #3, a protector type who is very sarcastic and a smartass), then him maybe switching (perhaps to #2, a helper type who is more diplomatic) while looking around in this mall, but it wasn't anything really super dramatic, it was just meant to be a bit humorous like the music made him do it. *shrug* Not sure of the significance of that, just that I found it fun.
Back in this area, what had previously been kind of like a dark arcade now turned into a brightly lit area of store and there were wooden wall racks of books and magazines. Of course I was curious. I didn't recognize most of the titles even though I looked for something familiar like National Geographic or Entertainment Weekly. I'm afraid this has faded woefully by now; a few were a tad interesting but there was nothing that made me want to buy it. The selection seemed kind of sparse, like only one or two copies of most magazines. These were more to the left (when facing the near wall, which was the lefthand wall of the "food court" when heading toward the back), then more to the right were some books geared toward children, and they were all bargain books; I remember in particular a series of colorful hardcovers which were mostly reprints of classics, so though it was a series the books weren't really connected, it was just a series of classic reprints for kids--I've seen similar things in reality. One was of a newer book perhaps dating back to the Fifties or something, maybe more recent; it had a man on the front who made me think somewhat of Buzz Lightyear from Toy Story--he was some kind of superhero or robot man or something with an attitude a lot like Buzz's, just this superheroey barrel-chested guy in a leotard or whatever, kind of smirking at the viewer. (This was a painting and not a photo--similar to the types of paintings you'd see on classic sci-fi movie posters, that was the style.) I knew I had seen this book or one in its particular series (for I believe there was more than one book featuring this character) in the past and had been curious to read it, maybe at a library, but hadn't; so I was tempted to pick this book up but I don't think I did. In reality it did not look like the sort of thing I'd be even remotely interested in. I quickly perused these children's books--I believe there were some little girls sitting on the floor here looking up at me with some books open in front of them right there in the store, you know how kids are--but nothing really screamed at me to buy it so I refrained. I know there was more specific detail in that part but it's lost now.
There was an abrupt dream shift here as now the interior of this mall or store, this one wall on the left (I seemed to be in a different part of it, like the back again, though I don't know how I got there), was gone and replaced by a steep hillside covered with low ground cover, dead leaves, and spaghettilike twisting roots of trees higher up. This was Mackinac Island. It was similar to some areas along the lower East Bluff, closer to the shore, and parts near the fort; I have photos. It was mostly a nice yellowy-green but the dead leaves and roots and trees were a good contrast of warm brown and it looked so wonderful, I said, "Oooh," and got out my digital camera. I guess I just realized I'd been dallying around in the store for too long and had to get going on my walk now. I took a picture but it didn't do it the way the camera really works; there's normally a short delay when you take a picture with this camera--you push the button, wait a fraction of a second, then the picture is taken--but this time, I pressed the button and snap, that was it, there it was on the preview screen. This worried me, no matter how convenient it was; so I switched to look at the preview and see if the photo had actually been taken. I believe it had, there it was. Still, I couldn't help worrying that something was up with the camera, like it was working TOO well! I thought that perhaps I was overwriting previous pictures or something equally nasty. I also worried that there wouldn't be enough space on the card, though it told me I had over 900 pictures left (in reality that's not too far off, it's currently around 1161 remaining); then I worried about the batteries--I think there was a battery icon on the preview screen, but it was either clear or white and wasn't flashing red so I knew the batteries were fine. (In reality no such icon appears until the batteries are in fact low, then a red flashing battery appears. The "clear" battery, i. e., empty, is the icon I currently have on my Discman, telling me my batteries in THAT are just about dead, but in the dream it seemed to mean they were fine, in the camera.) Still, I wondered if I should not perhaps find a general store and pick up some batteries just in case since I always go through them really fast on the island and I didn't think I'd brought any along with me on this trip. It's almost like I was looking for things to worry about, but I just wanted to be prepared.
Ah, I think I actually made a mistake and recalled that wrong. I have written down in the notes "about to check how pic turned out," and I recall that's when I awoke. So perhaps I hadn't looked at the preview image yet but had seen only the preview it shows right after you take a picture before going back to the regular screen. I know that I wanted to check a few pictures to see if any were being overwritten, but I also wanted to get going on my walk; I believe I had to lean forward and peer up to get a good look at this steep slope (since part of the store wall was still in existence, at the bottom and maybe to the left side and perhaps there was still the ceiling, with this landscape stretching off ahead) and my view of it shifted slightly as dreams do; I wanted to clamber around among those roots, they were so lovely, and I was going to take a few more shots just in case. But that was all.
Real-life associations: Prepare yourself, there's a lot of them.
Mackinac Island trip--something I wanted to do twice this summer but my health issues prevented it and I went only once, not getting to see Cave of the Woods.
Hiring a carriage taxi--I thought of doing this one year, and even tried to make the call a couple of times, when my back was so sore I didn't think I could make the walk back to town. Unfortunately I couldn't figure out how to work the payphone so had to walk after all, and it was very painful but I made it. One thing that bothers me about visiting Cave of the Woods is how very long it takes just to walk out there--I do enjoy the walking, but I'd prefer getting to the cave really quick, then walking around somewhere ELSE, instead of spending all my time just walking to the cave and back! So yes, thoughts of riding out there, or at least part of the way, have crossed my mind but I doubt I'd do that.
Pancakes and sweet breakfasts--I already mentioned the IHOP commercial, aside from that, no clue why the proliferation of sugary imagery. I really do not like eating sweet things as main meals, even breakfast; sweet things are dessert or snacks for me. Me arguing with myself over getting the ice cream cookie reminds me of how I always debate with myself whether I should eat a sweet now or later when I might want it more, and if so, what kind and how much, should I eat two Reese's peanut butter cups or a brownie? I hate the thought of putting on all the weight I lost; even though I don't eat nearly as much sugar as I did back then, I feel somewhat more bloated than before and none of it is coming off so I worry that it's fat and not water.
I often do wash my hands (just wet my fingers and rub them together, nothing really unsanitary) at public drinking fountains.
Not a real-life association, but the back room with the "dais" or gallery or whatever vaguely reminds me of the area I often seek in my recurring theme of wandering to the back of (usually) my brother's house in search of an old man (see "Psychology Of The Lady Of The House" and "Anyone There...?" for examples and "Return To Wandering Rooms" for a listing of similar dreams); this room made me think of the old man's study in "Psychology Of The Lady Of The House." The "gallery" was like the place where a jury would sit, for want of a better description.
The shifting colors on the "knights"/"monks" display--like the display itself these made me think of the displays at Fort Michilimackinac; they had one display, like a diorama, where you would first see a house, then the light would shift and through some mirror work it would shift to a different image which I think was the ruins of the house, unsure. It relied on mirrors and lights to do this. I have a photo but it didn't turn out well due to the nature of the visual trick used. In my dream, it was just multicolored lights, but I seem to recall that in one of the displays at Michilimackinac you could push a button to manipulate it and it was the same here. As for the particular colors amber and green, aside from them meaning "Caution" and "Go," I haven't any immediate association.
The labyrinth--the day prior to the dream I acquired a book which has a couple of stories with "Labyrinth" in the title though I haven't read them yet. I believe I may have misused the word though in that this was more like a maze than a true labyrinth since things were just going in every direction, not necessarily leading to the center. I seem to recall that a true labyrinth has just one path leading all over before getting to the middle, though my dictionary does not say this, it sounds synonymous with maze. In any case, it was like a funhouse maze, with halls leading into hidden rooms and tiny rooms and halls opening into each other and intersecting and curving all around and sometimes hitting dead ends, and it wasn't a huge area or anything, just confusing. It was probably called a "labyrinth" in the dream itself otherwise I likely would have just called it a maze. I already mentioned the similarity to the "forgotten/hidden room" theme of my dreams. There was an odd bit of almost-lucidity in that I really wanted to find such a room but my inability to focus on walking through the labyrinth made the whole thing fall apart and derail; even in the dream I knew what had caused this and was disappointed, but I did not realize I was asleep.
Me perusing various necklaces and other items and trying to decide what to get is a mildly recurring theme. (See "A Trip To The Mall" and "Impulse Buy" for examples.) Unsure what caused the particular imagery (including the Indian items and the squishy animals) this time though.
Dianne--I already mentioned how I wrote her and received a reply and I have yet to respond. Though it isn't in any way hinted at in the dream, I think Dianne could stand for both herself and be a stand-in for Mya S. (see "Long-Distance Photos Of Mya," "Alliance Of Friends," and "A Call From Mya"), seeing as recently, in reality, Mya at last found me through Facebook and contacted me, the first time we've been in touch in about a decade. This made me very anxious seeing as I figure she's probably changed so much she won't care to talk to me anymore, especially since I really haven't changed since we were friends--I'm still all focused on my stories and all--and that was the main reason I stopped writing to her years ago, she no longer seemed interested and I didn't want to bother her. I've built up a kind of idealized image of our childhood friendship and while I've longed to get back in touch, I've longed even more to just keep the happy memories I had and not tarnish them trying to get back in touch with somebody who probably forgot I exist. She hasn't forgotten about me, but our first couple of comments to each other were very vague and general so I really had no "feel" for what she was thinking about me and I just assumed she'd lose interest and stop mailing me like people tend to do, then I would know for sure she stopped caring, and I hated that thought; but at the same time I worried that my short, vague replies to her would make her think that I'm not interested--in short, I feel uncomfortable however I respond, whether it's by sending a long gushy letter letting her know I missed her, or a short terse comment which might be mistaken for disinterest, or no reply at all (as I very nearly did since her last response didn't leave much room for me to add anything of my own). So as you can see I was very conflicted before going to bed. She has since replied and now asked how I'm doing and what I've been up to. It remains to be seen how things will go from there, though I'm never very optimistic. Dianne's hurt reaction in the dream, believing that I'd forgotten about her, echoes how I fear both the real Dianne and Mya could feel--while at the same time it's the same way I would act, myself. As far as I know neither Dianne nor Mya is as emotional as I am.
No clue about why Dianne would think I was after her money.
I have no idea where the names "Reggie" and "Lynn" came from--Dianne's partner's name is Pamela, not Lynn, and I haven't a clue who Reggie would be. I'm also not sure why I felt more at ease with her having a boyfriend since in reality it's an issue that doesn't bother me at all; or rather, I'd feel equally insecure whether it was a boyfriend or girlfriend, because I feel like I'm in competition for somebody's attention and friendship. In the dream though, the gender seemed to matter more than it really does, which was ironic, seeing as "Reggie" seemed jealous of me! (Oddly, Reggie's insecurity toward our friendship seems more like something I myself would feel, so perhaps Reggie was some aspect of myself--more than likely, I'd bet.) I do recall I felt very awkward about my uncertainty regarding Lynn's name, even though Lynn was no longer in the picture; I felt that by forgetting her name, I'd be insulting Dianne, like I wasn't paying much attention to her life to get the facts straight.
The wooden owl--the owl is one of my favorite animals; only association I'm aware of.
Fairy art journal--I recently ordered some fairy-themed gifts for my niece. Unsure of any other immediate associations. I remember that the fairies in the dream were kind of crude and childish whereas if I were to get something with fairy art, I prefer it more stylized and elaborate, you know, pretty Art Nouveauish or Victorian fairies. I was a bit irked at how the illustrations and coloring interfered with the possibility of actually writing on some pages; I believe journals should be pretty but also utilitarian.
Nutter Butter--the week previous, I had tried a new sundae at Big Boy, made with hot fudge and Nutter Butter topping, something I've never tried before. It was fabulous. I remembered this in the dream and was longing to try it again.
Ugly Betty--TV Guide Channel has been showing stuff about this for ages now and it's worked its way into my brain. Though the businessman guy in my dream did not have the same personality, the character he might have resembled was a jealous boyfriend type from the show (what little I know of, that is), possibly corresponding to "Reggie."
Seeking a bottle of water--the incident with me looking for a bottle of tea in a general store on the island really happened; I went seeking a general store for such things on Main Street but could find only tourist shops, nothing with general items like bottled water or tea. That mystified me since I knew there had been one there before, yet I just could not find it so had to go without.
Kerli and Kristeva--I had listened to a couple of Kerli's songs, including "I Want Nothing," the previous night--while thinking of Det. Kristeva. Regarding Kristeva himself, I've been thinking about DID (dissociative identity disorder) a lot lately and have purchased a few more books on the topic but haven't gotten around to reading them yet.
Digital camera--camera malfunctions are a recurring theme of mine (see "Don't Mess With A Woman With A Camera!" and "Up Arch Rock & Down Again" for examples), which is probably why I was expecting the camera to act up even when it didn't. Having a camera malfunction on a trip to Mackinac Island is a huge fear of mine though I've lucked out so far. Truthfully, I'm surprised by how well the camera worked in this dream!
Camera batteries--a few years back I went to the island with some cheapo batteries from a dollar store--batteries which were practically dead when I tried to reload the camera. This greatly upset me as I had to backtrack a little and seek a general store around Surrey Hill Square just to buy some new batteries. It ended up working out, but the incident still rattled me and I will never get batteries at a dollar store again. I'm always worrying about batteries in various things dying on me, and me not having any fresh batteries around.
*deepbreath* I do hope somebody enjoyed my two lost hours of sleep. I believe this is the longest dream I have ever posted, the runners-up being "Sulky & Left Out" and "The Grand Tour"--now go read "The Grand Tour" as it's infinitely more fascinating than this relatively mundane dream was.
