Date of dream: Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Level of Lucidity: N/A
Level of Cohesiveness: 
Lucid Intent? No
This dream has been viewed 4193 times.
This was clear right after I had it but I unfortunately took no notes. Wish I had, but I was tired. -_-
I can't recall the beginning but I was at what was supposed to be my home, I think, except everything was completely different. There seemed to be more trees around and the place was bigger and older, that's about all I can really say of it. Still cluttered, though. :/ I was there, Ma was there (she seemed completely different herself, at least later in the dream--maybe younger and with long blond hair, kind of like Hot Lips from the MASH movie (Sally Kellerman)?), my brother I think was there but even he seemed different...it was strange but not strange. Felt normal in the dream. *shrug* Maybe Dad was there too but I'm not sure. We were all standing in this area over by a hallway or something with a big room behind us, kind of on a lower level...the house seemed like it was all of wood...and there was a lot of talking going on but I wasn't really involved, just listening kind of neutrally. Eric (my brother) and Ma were doing the most discussing. I don't know how it got onto this topic but Eric started talking about some hired help or something that our parents had had in the past and he just offhand said something like, "That help was the one who raped Rachel a long time ago, wasn't he? Yep, I'm pretty sure he was." He kind of looked at me curiously, then continued talking to Ma about this like it was the most casual comment in the world.
My attention lit up and I listened harder. I didn't feel panicked or like "WHAT THE HELL?!" If anything, I was more surprised by the fact that my parents had once had hired help than I was by the fact of what this help had done to me! I kept saying, "Help--? We had help--?" but they were too busy talking to notice. I was wondering, was this a butler or a servant or just some guy or what...? I knew he was lower class, maybe blue collar or something, but I couldn't learn anything from Eric or Ma. Eric was talking like he was talking about the weather.
I wasn't upset, but I was consumed by curiosity. I thought, "If I was raped, then it would explain a lot of things!" My primary concern was that I wanted to learn MORE because nobody was really explaining what had happened--who was this guy, when had he attacked me, why had nothing ever been done about it--? I of course must have repressed the incident. I assumed it had been when I was little. I was just most confused about when we had had hired help! This was news to me.
At some point while they were talking I fell to the floor and lay there in an uncomfortable position as if unconscious. I was pretending that I'd passed out for some reason, but they didn't notice that either. :/ So I guess I got back up. I think the floor was wooden slats, all very aged wood in this house.
Some various things happened which I can't remember. Oh. I just recalled that I finally started questioning Ma about what had happened with this hired help and she started writing something down on something; I had the distinct feeling it was going to be numbers, though by now I can't think of why that held significance. Was it the date that the attack happened, or how old I was...? I know it was more than one number so perhaps it was a date. However, when she turned what she'd written toward me, I believe it said "Yr" or "Yr.," as in "Year." This held significance for her, and I remember thinking, "Oh, I guess that does make sense," even though I'd been hoping for some numbers. But I don't know what the meaning of it is, now.
Anyway, more things which I can't remember happened. At some point while I was talking with Ma--who was now definitely this other lady, and I seemed to be a little blond girl, I think--we noticed something at the window. We were apparently in the basement now because when I looked up at the window, it was exactly like those in our real basement, small and rectangular, with two panes, set up near the ceiling. The "basement" we were in didn't look like our real basement (in fact it seemed to be that same ground-level (?) room that had been by us as we'd been talking earlier, big and spacious with a high ceiling and lots of stuff around, though maybe it was made of cinderblock now rather than wood), but the window we looked at was exactly the same. I noticed it first--water was flowing up past the window, quickly rising to the top. My mother noticed second. In a flash, I (as the little girl) was on my feet and fleeing the basement in a panic. This was all kind of like roleplaying. Ma got up and came running after me.
We ended up running out into the "backyard," which was grassy and bordered all around with trees, maybe pines. It was overcast outside, maybe evening. I knew that some sort of "bad man" had started flooding the place in the hopes of drowning me or us in the basement, and this was why I had fled. Ma came after me to comfort me as we were both safe now, but I was still quite rattled. Oh yes. I just remembered that when we fled, I had my old black cat, Pepper, with me, and I recalled that I hadn't brought my hamster but then I thought, well, I can pretend I brought him (like I said, it was like roleplaying), that's just as good.
I don't know if the "bad man" who flooded around the house had anything to do with the "hired help" who had supposedly raped me. I should add that, while the water was clearly rising past the basement window, it was perfectly dry outside where the water should have been.
When I awoke I thought of two things. One was a comparison to my fictional character Detective Kristeva--the water rising past the window made me think of him, as one of his repressed memories is about nearly drowning; I wondered if such a scene as that from my dream would be good included in a story. The other was about the cat I had been rescuing. I was puzzled that it was my old cat Pepper and not my current cat Cosmas. Pepper's been dead for nearly five years. :/ I then had a kind of half-waking, half-asleep thought of, "Well, Pepper was my cat when I was little. So rescuing her makes sense." *shrug*
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Date of dream: Monday, September 18, 2006
Level of Lucidity: N/A
Level of Cohesiveness:
Lucid Intent? No
This dream has been viewed 4183 times.
Fragmentary.
I was on Mackinac Island with Ma. It was daytime and we were walking around in town. We went into this one store on the right side of the street (when you're facing the fort, I guess) and within was this big room and a stack of mattresses and an overweight woman who I guess was the seller. I think there were other things in here (it looked almost like a warehouse room, gray and bare), like souvenirs and the typical stuff you find on the island, and I looked at that I guess while Ma talked with the woman (she was big but not ugly, maybe with dark blond hair) about something. Maybe she was commenting on the mattresses--not like she wanted to buy them, but just making smalltalk, and the woman was smalltalking too. I think I went over and tested the mattresses by sitting on them--there must have been like four or five stacked upon each other. Sorry this is so vague. We finished up in here and went back outside to resume our walking, now on the left side of the street, heading toward the fort. The sidewalk was very narrow and very steep, and we were climbing up part of it to where it leveled out in front of some stores. Ma, ahead of me, looked over her shoulder and indicated another store she wished to visit. I shrugged and shook my head.
"I can't go in," I said, and pointed down at my feet; they were bare. "I went walking into that mattress store like this and didn't even know it!!" For I recalled feeling the bare floor under my feet; fortunately the woman working there hadn't noticed!
So I guess either she went in alone while I waited outside or we skipped that store. I might have been a bit disappointed because what the heck was I to do with bare feet?
I continued up the sidewalk at some point--I don't know if Ma was still with me, but if she was, I believe she went on ahead of me and had no trouble. But there were now these horizontal wooden bars, at least two of them, at about waist and chest level over the sidewalk (maybe there was something like a low wall beneath them) and I had to get around them somehow. I tried twice to slip between them in different ways, but stopped myself both times because I knew I wouldn't fit. >_< So I somehow walked my way around them. I'm guessing just going around was difficult in itself otherwise I'd have done it first! Perhaps I had to cling onto them and pull my way around. In any case, I made it around them and onto the other side of the sidewalk. Aside from this being a sidewalk it wasn't really much like Mackinac Island; I can't describe it adequately. It was kind of like being at a beach house though I don't know what makes me say that. Perhaps there was sand or a beach where the street should have been. There were lots of other people walking around and lounging and doing their own things.
I came across a section that seemed more like the area of my brother's upstairs room where the drawers are set into the wall, but it was still supposed to be this sidewalk on Mackinac Island. :/ I was looking around for the remains of a landmark such as the Fairy Arch (see "In Search Of The Fairy Arch"), which I knew had been destroyed. I came to another wooden bar or railing, and seated on the ground/floor on the other side of it (bar or whatever on the left) were two old men. They were kind of...homeless looking...not the best off...but friendly enough. They both looked at me curiously as I stopped near them and felt at the wooden railing.
"Excuse me, fine sirs," I said, or something to that extent, "I'd like to ask you something, but first I want to check to make sure..." And it's like the men were seated upon or next to a heap of sand, and I lifted the heap of sand up as if it were made of foam rubber or carpeting or something, and first felt around underneath it and then looked. I thought some of the remains of the stone landmark might be here, just buried, and I did feel what seemed to be a ridge of stone at first, but when I looked at it I saw it was just a wooden projection of the wall under the railing or something like that. Manmade. A bit disappointed, I put the "sand" back down. o_o I turned back to the two elderly men and started speaking to them very formally in a Russian accent which I kept mussing up--like I kept getting my R's wrong (which makes it sound more like it was a German accent, but it was supposed to be Russian). I guess I was roleplaying the part of a Russian man, probably an upper-class guy with how formally I addressed these two--"fine sirs," "esteemed gentlemen," things such as that. I was asking them if they knew of former landmarks on the island, seeing as they were so old, surely they were alive back when these landmarks had disappeared--around the Thirties or Forties, in fact. This was very logical in the dream and even outside the dream it makes sense.
I remember the specific landmarks I asked for information on. "I wish to know if you could give me any information on the fate of the Fairy Arch, the Giant's Stairway, Scott's Cave...or Pulpit Rock, or any other landmarks which may no longer exist or are no longer widely known about." I hesitated before saying "Pulpit Rock," I recall, because I was thinking, "What OTHER landmarks besides the obviously destroyed ones do I always wonder about...?" And Pulpit Rock/Vista Rock (they might be the same formation, might not) is one such landmark. I don't know if it still exists or not, whereas I know the other three are gone. I then added "or any other landmarks" just to cover my bases because I knew there were various OTHER things I was forgetting, and I didn't want the men to skip any potentially interesting information. As I talked with them I really kept messing up this Russian accent. >_<
These two old men, who were seated leaning against the wall/building, were friendly enough but I don't recall ever receiving an answer. I get the feeling though that they didn't have the information I was seeking. :(
There was another part of dream involving a new digital camera--possibly one replacing the new one we just got!--and I was looking at the images on the LCD screen, but I can't recall all how that went or if it was the same dream. I seem to recall that the camera was at one point in a shopping bag, and as I looked at it I was in a big fancy room. *shrug*
In real life, I recently went to Mackinac Island and did go looking for the remnants of the Fairy Arch, without much success. I used a new digital camera to take pictures.
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Date of dream: Monday, September 18, 2006
Level of Lucidity: N/A
Level of Cohesiveness:
Lucid Intent? No
This dream has been viewed 4138 times.
This is from my nap.
I went to look out on the front porch to see if there were any animals out there. It was nighttime and should have been dark out, but I guess it was winter because there was snow all over the ground and porch, and what's more there was a VERY bright moon so it was blue outside like evening or early morning. It was almost like the snow was glowing a bit, even, like neon sky blue.
At first I saw only its head, but then the whole animal--there was a squirrel feeding from the dish--and it had strange tufts on its head. At first I thought it was one of those squirrels that have the long tufted ears (we don't have them here), but then it seemed like it just had strange fur, like it was molting or something. It looked mostly like a red squirrel, just with odd fur. I think it was some sort of subspecies but in any case, it was very cute, and I smiled as I watched it eat.
I looked into the woods--it must have been winter for there were no leaves or undergrowth or anything in the way--and saw a small dark shape wandering back and forth a bit among the trees. I knew it was a cat--I'd seen it from the start--and it was eyeing the squirrel with interest. As I watched the cat came walking casually up to the porch and sneaked up the steps. I began to grow anxious for the poor squirrel, and was ready to scare it or the cat off, but then I halted myself and thought--Who am I to play God?
The cat, some kind of heavyset shorthair I think, maybe white and mackerel colored, just stepped right up and picked the squirrel up by the scruff, gently, as if it were a kitten. It began to turn away. I think the squirrel was shocked, because it didn't really struggle. As gentle as the cat was, I knew it was going to carry the squirrel off and eat it. I felt so awful. I began rapping on the window and calling out in the belated hopes of startling the cat into dropping the squirrel, but all that the cat did was turn its head to look back at me curiously before making its way back down the steps and toward the woods. I felt so badly for the poor squirrel, even though I knew it wasn't my place to stop the cat from doing what it just does naturally. I mean, sure I could feel bad for the squirrel, but why shouldn't I also feel bad for making the cat lose its dinner? :(
Not long ago in real life I read an online journal entry where somebody saw a beautiful butterfly get trapped in a spider's web, and a big ugly spider came running out at it. She was tempted to free the butterfly, since she liked butterflies more than spiders, but made herself stop because she knew she had no place "playing God," as she put it. As it turned out, the butterfly broke its way free, and she then felt sorry for the spider which had lost its food and now had to mend its broken web.
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