Date of dream: Sunday, May 22, 2005
Level of Lucidity: N/A
Level of Cohesiveness: 
Lucid Intent? No
This dream has been viewed 4246 times.
I had another dream about a tornado, a recurring theme I haven't had in quite a while now. It's much faded by now. I remember that there were warnings on the news about the weather, and Ma, Dad, Cosmas, and I kept getting ready every time they called for a tornado to appear. It's like there was a false alarm or something first. I looked out the front window and there were no trees in the way; I saw a wide funnel cloud storming around on the horizon and exclaimed, "There it is, it's coming!" The tornado was almost cylindrical, nearly as wide at the bottom as it was at the top, unlike the stereotypical funnel-shaped image of a tornado. Since it was within sight we knew we had to take cover and we gathered what we needed--I don't recall what it was now--and started to bustle downstairs. I rounded up Coz (the cat) and carried him with me. He was being difficult to catch because he was so afraid.
I think we went downstairs but nothing happened so we came back up, or else we didn't get to go downstairs before realizing it was a false alarm and the tornado was moving away or something. But then another warning came on the news and we hurried downstairs again--again I had to round up Cosmas, and I remember this caused me the most stress in the dream, trying to catch him because I did not want to leave him behind--I was so worried I'd lose him. I kept a tight hold on him as I descended the steps and Ma and Dad and I, plus Coz, then hid out in the basement.
I don't remember anything else, just that we stayed down there a while, tense and anxious. We'd brought down whatever we'd needed, and it was daytime (overcast), so we could see. I don't recall the tornado ever striking us so maybe we were lucky.
I used to have tornado dreams all the time when I was a kid, partly stemming from my ever-present fear of one striking us. (We live in the Midwest--Tornado Alley--and during one tornado warning as a kid, I was so terrified I stuffed all my toy animals under the bed and then hid there with them.) I'm no longer nearly so afraid of such a phenomenon, so I take it my more recent tornado dreams deal with some kind of stress or feeling of impending doom. I've been very depressed lately but that doesn't seem to explain why I'd have a tornado dream.
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Date of dream: Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Level of Lucidity:
Level of Cohesiveness:
Lucid Intent? No
This dream has been viewed 4213 times.
All I remember of a bigger dream was that Ma and I (and maybe someone else?--a grandmother?) were traveling around, maybe to Mackinac Island or downstate, and we were pulled in at a gas station like Holiday and I was sitting in the car (it was a convertible or else a window was open) talking to a woman. It was hot and sunny and this woman had pulled in and was talking to someone about her plans to use some sort of tunnel beneath the Mackinac Straits to get to the Upper Peninsula or Mackinac Island or something. This was a well-known and much-used transportation tunnel beneath the water. Even as she said this I was shaking my head.
"You can't use that to get to ___ (wherever she was going)," I said, and she looked at me with a frown. "It won't take you all the way there. Your best bet would be to ___." (I forget what I advised her to do; maybe take a ferry or use the bridge, or go around Lake Huron or something. :/ )
I sensed this woman was in a hurry as she was rather flustered; kind of an older lady, maybe in her forties. "I can't take the tunnel there?" she asked, and I shook my head. This frustrated her a bit but she thanked me for my help and decided to do as I had advised, whatever that was. She and her friend or whoever she'd been talking to went on their way, and Ma returned and we went on our way as well. (There had been some sort of roof over the pumps like at the real station; it was very crowded and I seem to think of a boat so maybe there was a boat tied to a vehicle there.) I seem to recall us driving down a highway, trees set a bit back from the road, bright and sunny.
NOW--I do not recall if this was in fact the same dream, or a dream outside the dream, because it felt like the latter. But with how upset I got it might have been the same dream since I was feeling as if it had really happened. I told Ma of what the lady had been ready to do, taking the tunnel all the way to St. Ignace or Mackinac Island or whatever, and then told her of what I had advised the lady to do. Ma furrowed her brow and said, "But you can use the tunnel to get to ___."
"No you can't, it doesn't reach all the way," I argued. (Either it didn't reach her destination, or it turned in some other direction; I can't remember which, just that I knew it wouldn't get her there.)
"Yes you can," she insisted. I think I realized she was right and immediately my pride in myself for helping this lady out deflated and I felt very stupid.
"Well, my way would work too," I retorted, feeling angry and hurt. "So either way she gets there." And I didn't want to talk about it further.
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Date of dream: Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Level of Lucidity: N/A
Level of Cohesiveness:
Lucid Intent? No
This dream has been viewed 4241 times.
After a long dry spell of difficulty remembering dreams, it only took complete depression to actually remember a few. These all seemed to be from the hour right before I awoke.
In this one, the beginning and end are hazy but I was looking at some old photographs I was getting ready to scan. A lot of them were of Pepper, our deceased cat. I guess I was looking for photos of her in particular. The house or room I was in was unfamiliar, older, somehow, like an older version of our house, or somebody else's house; like some Seventies style furnishings or something; tacky. Some people were around, Ma among them, but I was engrossed in these photos. They were bringing back memories and I liked looking at them.
I remember picking up a few and reminiscing over them but I only remember two in particular. One I believe was a Polaroid picture; they were all older photos, not like the nice sleek ones you get nowadays. This one had a closeup of Pepper sitting on a couch or something looking toward the camera and there was some sort of gunky scummy substance on it. I started trying to scrape it off so it would be suitable for scanning but the stuff didn't want to come off and I was afraid of damaging the photo. I was kind of impatient to sort these pictures so I decided, after a few tries, that it would be best to set it aside for now and try to get somebody else to remove the substance later on. It was kind of grayish colored, just like some old icky gummy dirt stuck to the photo in places over Pepper's face. I even kind of rubbed the photo against my clothes or the rug or furniture or something without success and so set it aside. I picked up another photo.
This one was of the woods beside our house. I call these Mrs. B.'s woods (name omitted for privacy reasons), because that's the name of the lady who used to live next door. Back when she lived there, I would wander freely among the trees and had fun sitting in a little hollow near the highway. After she died, some guy built a new house in there in between hers and ours and now I do not wander in these woods. This guy moved aside a favorite boulder of mine when cutting the driveway through the woods, even though this rock was not in the way; and so now it's upside-down. And since his house is so near to ours I feel a lack of privacy, and I cannot wander around the woods anymore without trespassing since I don't know these people. In addition, the woods themselves seem to have become "unfriendly"--I remember being able to see through the trees straight to Mrs. B.'s house, and to be able to walk around freely, but now there is a lot of undergrowth and saplings and scrub filling everything in; if not for this, this neighbor would be able to see us a lot better than he does, so I'm kind of grateful for this natural "screen," but on the other hand, it's unattractive, messy, and just...uncultivated looking. Like the woods just went to seed. :/ I don't know why it changed like that but it did. Oh yes. They also cut down a little shagbark hickory ON OUR PROPERTY (it was nowhere NEAR in the way!), and they cut down one of a pair of conjoined trees (possibly also on our property) which I used to love squatting down behind to stick my feet in a little mudpatch that would form by them. Now there is just one tree there, and a rotting stump, and no mudpatch ever forms. This neighbor just seems to have completely ruined these woods with his small actions, and I don't even know how it happened.
Well anyway...this was an old photograph of these woods, back when they had been more hospitable, when Mrs. B. had still lived there. It was autumn in this picture, and the photo was taken from our property, looking down into the woods. It's like the woods were lower than they are in real life since it was like standing on the edge of a big hollow and looking down. The ground was COMPLETELY covered in fallen leaves, all orange and red and beautiful. I don't remember leaves on the trees but this was mainly because the photo wasn't up that high; it was looking down. The leaves were not dry and crunchy; they were likely wet. The ground rolled in little undulations, hills and hollows, and there were large flattened rocks jutting out here and there. And in the midst of this were two rivers--more like wide streams, but I thought of them as rivers, one heading kind of ahead (south), the other meandering kind of to the right (west). They were filled with water. Just these little riverbeds in the midst of the woods.
My first thought was, why is this photo in with my Pepper ones--? I couldn't see her anywhere. Then I saw her, just barely visible, at the bottom; she was very small and facing away from me, heading toward the woods, and I remembered that she liked to wander around in them too. :) My second thought was..."Oh yeah...the rivers! I forgot all about those! I wonder why I never see them anymore--? What happened to them...?" Because I now remembered that I used to love wandering over the big rocks and around these rivers, too. But I hadn't done that in ages. :/
I determined to find out what had become of these rivers. Immediately I was outside now, standing at about the same vantage point as whoever had taken the picture, looking down into the woods. I think the ground was again covered in wet leaves and I was holding this photo in front of me and comparing it to the actual landscape. I looked from one to the other and back again. My view was just slightly off. I observed the large rocks, and in particular a crooked tree way off near the highway to the right in the photo. I couldn't see that tree. I moved somewhat to the right, shifting my view, and lowered the photo to peruse the landscape again. And...there it was, far ahead and to the right...the crooked tree...the landscape had changed slightly since the photo had been taken, but I was looking at a nearly exact same view of what was in the picture. I looked down now...and there were the two riverbeds. They were dry, just these hollow snaking beds filled with leaves like the rest of the ground...but there they were. I realized it was probably too late in the year or some such for them to be full of water. Maybe they didn't fill anymore? That wasn't the thought I got, but I hadn't seen them in so long, it makes the most sense.
My attention was drawn now to the large rocks. There were at least three or four, kind of going in a line through the woods. There were a couple of flatter ones, and then a bigger one jutting upward. I remembered that I had loved to stand on and hide behind this rock long ago before those neighbors moved in. Now, I had not felt free to do so in a long time since I didn't like trespassing. (I never felt like it was trespassing when Mrs. B. lived there.) I was sad about this. I wandered over the flatter rocks, maybe when attempting to match the photo view; they headed vaguely east to west. Just these giant weatherbeaten rocks, almost like a terrace. The big rock was either to the left of these when facing south (that is, on the east end), or to the north of them, closer to our house. Probably the former since I felt more okay walking on the flat rocks, but felt like I was trespassing when I was near the big rock. I can't remember whether I was surprised or not by the lack of undergrowth and such that there is in real life.
I really wanted to be near that big rock again, since it brought back such memories. So I started creeping around now, keeping my eye on the neighbor's house and edging toward the rock. I never saw anybody, and I didn't get the feeling the neighbor would be mad, but I didn't want to face him because he is the person who IMO ruined the woods. I reached the big jutting rock and ducked behind it--only for a moment it was like I was hiding behind a wooden bookshelf--and peered out again. (It was on my left, and I peered out from behind the right side of it.) I think I then climbed atop it--it was a rock again--and I was having such fun remembering, even though I didn't want to be caught. I think I then reluctantly returned to the house.
I didn't write this down but I seem to remember then talking with my old friend Mya about all this, and she was nodding and smiling and I was having a grand old time remembering everything. I think maybe we had played near the rock together. (In real life we did play around in the woods a bit.)
My view of the woods was very clear and realistic; it also shifted relatively little as I explored and looked at it, aside from the positions of the rocks.
I do not know what inspired this dream. I have kind of been asking for a clear dream to give me advice, as just this weekend, I've apparently lost someone I considered a friend of several years, and one of the biggest supporters of my writing; he logs online frequently but refuses to communicate with me anymore, and last I knew, over a month ago, he was saying everything was fine and he'd write to me soon. That was the second time he assured me of this after falling silent for a month, but now he has nothing to say whatsoever. This happened not long after I had even been attempting to communicate with him more, and had even sent him a handmade gift for Christmas. And so it hurts an incredible amount and I have been feeling terribly lately since he was the one person I had grown to trust out of everyone else who let me down; it kills me not at least knowing why it changed. It also hurts not having his support on my writing anymore, so even my writing feels like total junk; I've lost almost all faith in it, and in myself as a friend, since somebody who has been there for me for so long can so suddenly decide it all means nothing. I've been crying a lot, and feeling utterly stupid even proofing and writing anything, since it's so worthless. This is the biggest dream I remember since then, but I don't see what it might be telling me about this situation, if anything. :( All I know is, after thinking about it for a while, it puzzles me that Pepper and Mya, figures who have not been in my life in a long time, should both show up at once.
[Note added the day after this was typed up: Don't know if it is related or not, but the day after typing up this dream, a neighbor to the south of us apparently died. I do not know if he lived in Mrs. B.'s house or in the one further down, but he was in the same area; I did not know him.]
This dream might have shifted into "The Wicked Window On The Soul" or another one of this night.
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