Date of dream: Friday, February 20, 2004
Level of Lucidity: 
Level of Cohesiveness:
Lucid Intent? No
This dream has been viewed 4482 times.
Well sheesh. I finally have another lucid dream and THIS is what happens! >_<
I dozed off while recording Inuyasha last night. This was after the commercial break, which I paused out, and it was a new tape so I had no worry of recording over the next episode. I still thought I had shut it off when the show ended, but I guess the dream got in the way.
Big O comes on after Inuyasha, and for a while I heard some of the dialogue from that in my dream; I specifically remember a line that went something like, "Oh, there'll be enough fish to keep us fed for the next three thousand years!" It was the episode where Roger and Angel were trapped deep underwater in a skyscraper or something ("The Call From The Past," I believe). I haven't watched the episode in years (I scanned it the day before, but that's fast-forwarding without audio), so there's no way I could have memorized the line recently; it must have slipped into my dream. There was more dialogue of course but that's the only line I specifically remember.
Anyway, I was dozing sitting upright, with my blanket covering my arms which rested against my lap. It felt like I had the remote in my hand (beneath the blanket) and I pointed it at the TV and started trying to turn it off or something...maybe I in fact was trying to stop the VCR? (That uses a different remote.) Or maybe I was trying to change the channel? Whatever I was doing...the TV wasn't responding. Not one bit. I kept trying this and trying this and it WOULD NOT WORK! I could even FEEL the remote button under my finger, and the TV would not turn off. Either this clued me in, or I just attempted to keep myself from freaking out by saying, "This is a dream!"
Well...I can't be sure if I really WAS lucid, or just thought I was. But it felt like I was lucid. I started groping around for the remote which I thought now sat beside me on the couch, to my right, thinking, "Maybe I can turn it off if I really have the remote in my hand." I don't know if I ever got it, but I still could not turn off the TV. I said, "This is a dream--turn off, turn off!" And it wouldn't turn off! This pissed me off because I realized on some level that this was a lucid dream--why wasn't the TV obeying me? Every other time I've had a lucid dream (and I am NOT a good lucid dreamer--the few times I've had them, they just came to me for no reason, and in the most lucid one all I managed to do was...fall over! (see "MY FIRST LUCID DREAM! :D")), the mere fact of me stating it's a dream has been enough to prompt some sort of control or change over the situation. Not so here!
I think I then grew upset and started trying to wake myself up. First I tried screaming...but all that came out was a whimpering moan. I couldn't raise my voice! Then I decided to try to move my arms--although I'd already HAD to move them, apparently, to get the remote (if I really had), it's like I hadn't moved them at all, now. I looked down at the blanket covering them and saw that it still covered them up. I could see their shapes beneath it. I started trying to move them and it was VERY difficult...sludgy...and they would not move! I think one shifted a bit, but I was practically trying to FLAIL them, without luck. I thought, "Well, when you're dreaming, the brain shuts down your muscles' ability to work, just so you won't flail around and hurt yourself." But then I thought, "Well DAMN IT, I'm having a LUCID DREAM! I SHOULD be able to move!!"
Nope; no sound, no movement. So I couldn't even wake myself up properly! >_< I think I almost dragged myself out of sleep a few times, but failed. I then glanced toward the dining room, where Ma was seated out at the computer, and...I saw her left arm...and it was REALLY LONG...I mean, it stretched ALL the way from the computer, through the dining room, and down into the living room as if she were made of elastic! This big long arm just reaching into the room with her hand lying on the floor near the TV! O_o I remember specifically that she was wearing this fuzzy gray yarn sweater (she doesn't have one that I know of in real life), because that's what the arm was clothed in. Ma herself was just playing on the computer, oblivious to her monstrously long arm. It didn't even appear to have bones or joints in it, it was just like a big thick strand of spaghetti or something. It seemed to be draped over one of the dining room chairs.
I stared at this weird arm and thought, "Now if THAT isn't a sign that I'm lucid dreaming, then I don't know WHAT is!" But I still couldn't do anything!
Well, I believe I finally managed to drag myself out of sleep...but then I dozed off again, as Ma was still playing on the computer (in real life, sans long arm). I wasn't aware of what was on TV now. And I had ANOTHER somewhat lucid dream. In this one, I somehow ended up playing on the computer myself; it was still probably around the same time of night. I was working in Wordpad, I believe--maybe typing up that dream? Anyway, I closed Wordpad to finish what I was doing, and...it's like the computer suddenly parked itself (energy-saving mode). Then it came out of park, then went back into it. This computer sometimes gives us trouble in park mode so this bothered me--why was it doing this? Then I think the icons on the desktop went black or disappeared or something--all sorts of funky things started happening. I grew REALLY upset. I tried to do a Control+Alt+Delete and instead of bringing up the little menu of programs you can shut down, it brought up a big light gray status bar. Every time I clicked Control+Alt+Delete, the bar would go a little more yellow--about three keystrokes would be enough to make it reach completion, at which point it would start over again. I abruptly stopped doing this as I had no idea what that status bar even meant--WHAT was being completed? Was I DELETING things from the hard drive? I didn't want to do any more Control+Alt+Deletes if this was the case--but I had no clue how to shut the thing down!
Ma came out and stood beside me to see what was going on. I gave her a despairing look--more keystrokes was all I could think of to do, even if I was potentially harming the hard drive. :( So again I tried Control+Alt+Delete, and again, and again. The status bar kept filling up and restarting and filling up and restarting. As it did this, messages in big white print kept appearing above it. I think at first it had said something about refinancing your home (Spam influence??), but then every time I did a keystroke, it would bring up a different short message. I just kept typing and typing as fast as I could for some reason, as if doing it enough times would shut the computer down. At some point I thought, "I should try keeping track of what those messages are saying for when I wake up; what if they say something interesting or important?"--meaning that I finally achieved at least limited lucidity in THIS dream, too. But I was in too much of a hurry to bother keeping track of the messages--maybe a part of me knew I would not remember them on awakening?--so I just kept typing and typing and typing. UGH frustrating!
I finally awoke around eight after one AM to see that I had in fact not stopped the VCR, and had recorded the beginning of Big O on my Inuyasha tape. This surprised me, as I had been at least half awake during the end theme of Inuyasha--at least I remembered hearing it, and preparing myself to stop the tape--so I had assumed I'd stopped it. I must have dozed off really fast! As I fell asleep during the second half of Inuyasha and awoke during the first half of Big O, this whole dream then took place between around 12:45 (maybe even later, if the end theme is taken into account) and 1:08 AM.
Like I said...I finally have another lucid dream, the first one in months, and...I can't do a thing about it! Cripes! >_<
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Date of dream: Monday, February 09, 2004
Level of Lucidity: N/A
Level of Cohesiveness:
Lucid Intent? No
This dream has been viewed 4460 times.
This was quite clear while I was having it but rather vague immediately afterward, sorry!
I'm not sure how or why, but I found myself getting out one of our Funk & Wagnalls encyclopedias and looking something up in it. It was evening or nighttime, I believe, rather dim or dark outside; Dad was home with me. I stood in the living room and browsed through the encyclopedia. I don't even remember having any specific subject in mind, but I eventually found myself looking at a picture of three old women seated at a table or some such. The picture was in color and seemed to extend over both pages. One of the women appeared to be one of the "grandmas"--they were some old women in real life who helped students with special needs at the elementary school. I never knew any of them personally, but this one looked like the small skinny one with the steel-gray hair which flared out at the bottom; can't remember her name. In the picture, they were sitting at a table (?) and each one was holding some sort of small pet. Two of the women were holding or else letting little birds perch on them--parakeets, probably. The third woman was holding a rat. There was a window behind them. They were all smiling at the camera.
This picture filled me with a happy feeling. "Oh, isn't that CUTE?" I gushed, looking at the rat; it made me think of my deceased rat Katchoo. I think I was surprised that an old woman would be so readily holding a rat. I just really liked this image for some reason. I might have read some of the text accompanying it, although I can't recall what it said; maybe they were in some sort of volunteer program, sort of like the grandmas program or something? Yes, silly that I can't even recall what the encyclopedia entry was about! ^_^ I really looked this image over, taking in every detail of it, when I noticed something odd about the room in which the three women sat. I frowned, unable to place it at first...but the room seemed familiar somehow. Behind the women was like a shelf or counter running along the wall, and a window above that, all done in wood. That was when it hit me, and I held the book up at eye level to be sure. I was right! The setting in the picture almost exactly matched that of the window and counter right before me, to the side of the encyclopedia shelf. This picture had been taken in our very own living room! :O
Somehow I knew this picture must have been shot long ago, possibly decades, when our house was of course in someone else's hands--before we lived here. (I have lived here all my life.) I was just so amazed that in our set of encyclopedias, I would find a picture of our own living room! What was more, very little about the setting and decor had actually changed over the years, so it was interesting to compare the two sights and see how alike they were. We were like one step away from fame! Our living room had been published in Funk & Wagnalls! ^_^
There was only one thing which puzzled me. The window in both images was the same...yet the scenery outside was not. Outside that window (the lefthand one on the north side of the house) in real life lies a road going west to east, and just to the left (west) of that is the junction where that meets another dead-end road and intersects the highway. (We live on a corner.) On the other side of the road (just north of us) is a pine tree plantation. I believe this was how it was in the dream at first; at least, there was still a road, though I think it might have been unpaved. (In real life the road beside our house used to be a dirt road, but it was paved years ago. It too is a dead end.) But outside the window in the picture, instead of a dirt road there were purple mountains rising in the distance...how odd. EVERYTHING else in the image was just about identical...so how could that one very important thing be so different?
I found Dad somewhere in the house and with great exuberance showed him the photo. He acknowledged that it had been taken in our own house. The deal with the mountains still confused me, though. I hypothesized that perhaps the mountains had been leveled to make way for the road and plantation or whatever was out there now. For even though they looked just like faraway mountains in the picture, I knew that in fact they had been large irregular hillocks or something, able to be easily cleared out with earthmovers. (I can't explain how they resembled both faraway mountains and nearby mounds at the same time--dream logic. Sorry.) They weren't roughly triangular like the typical mountain image, but more like high blunted mounds, such as those that termites might make. A whole row of them. I was just about certain that they had been flattened or dug up and carted off by workmen in the past to lay down the road or something; I don't think Dad actually verified this, but it was the thought that made the most sense to me. It made me feel sad that they had mown down the mountains in the name of progress; I would have liked to see the terrain the way it was. Too bad. :/
We both went outside now to compare the landscape to that in the book and maybe to verify that my idea was what had actually happened. Now all the scenery drastically changed, but it didn't strike me as odd. I can't adequately describe it...the house itself seemed to be gone, or out of sight, or further back behind us...instead of the dead-end roads and the highway, now there seemed to be (perhaps not in the same alignment) a dirt road or a rutted trail, and a country road...the land was all covered with long, dull, brown grass which had been slightly flattened down by wind or rain; and it was vast and open, though it didn't feel quite that way, like maybe there were bare trees dotting the road and path here and there so it was not so open as it could have been. I distinctly get the feeling as of the roads intersecting the brown "fields" and breaking them up. I think the sun might have been shining low from off to the left when we faced away from the "north" (putting it in the east?), but I'm not sure; directions might have shifted. When we looked this way (south?), I noticed another road intersecting the expanses of brown grass, and someone was approaching us. I think there was an old farmhouse, maybe with some trees around it, across the road some distance away (to the right of another road?), and the grass and earth formed hillocks or banks alongside the road. The person coming over the banks toward us was Dianne B. (old friend from high school).
I instantly knew that she lived in that farmhouse not too far away. She had an eager look on her face as she approached, obviously wanting to tell me something. I turned to face her and held up the encyclopedia I still carried.
Dianne's face was still lit up as she started speaking. "Did you see that picture in the encyclopedia--?"
"You mean this one? Yeah! I did!" I knew that somehow she too had just discovered that the encyclopedia picture had been taken long ago in my house, and this fact excited her as much as it did me, for some weird reason! ^_^ I felt even more jubilant now that I had a companion just as interested in this as I was; although Dad was accompanying me, he acted rather neutral, though supportive. Dianne and I remarked a little bit over the picture and the changed landscape with its lack of mountains, and the three of us started walking back toward where the dirt road by my house was, to see if my theory about the mountains being razed was correct.
The dream gets vaguer here, but I think we stepped into the road or up onto a smallish rise. There was a brown, grassy bank rising where the mountains should have been, and I guessed that this was all that was left of them. It looked as if I had been right, and the dirt road and grassy rise had taken the place of the purple mountains in the old picture. Too bad. Then for some reason I stood in the middle of the road and turned a little bit, closing my eyes and trying to feel and imagine what the setting looked like. It's like I was envisioning the layout of the land around my house, yet it seemed to be that of some land further away from home at the same time. *shrug* I held out my arms and now it was like I could envision the way things had been--or maybe the way they were now, as if I were just regaining my bearings. Confusing to explain; sorry. I pointed one way ("west"?), my eyes still closed, and said something like, "The highway goes that way...I remember that." I pointed another way. "And the other road used to go that way..." I opened my eyes and felt somewhat disoriented, but when I looked harder, the changed landscape seemed vaguely familiar, and I smiled as I began to recognize things in their new context. This is very hard to understand, as I was acting as if I had been one of the old women in the photo almost--that is, as if I remembered only the OLD layout of the land, not the new, when the new layout is all I could have ever known. But now it's like I was just getting used to it for the first time. :/ Can't really explain it.
I forgot to explain how the sun was shining. It was like it was low and maybe a little orangish or reddish, like evening or a rainstorm was coming on. I think it was chilly out, and bare, like late autumn. The sky everywhere else but on the horizon might have been dark and heavy with clouds. The grass and such were tinged by the dying sunlight and there might have been a cold breeze.
(In the notes I took for this dream, I have myself pointing out the road directions BEFORE meeting up with Dianne; I can't be sure which way it actually went.)
Anyway, I decided to try to find out if I could locate the men who had razed the mountains to lay down the road--it's like this had happened quite recently now, instead of years ago, and they would still be around! Dad, Dianne, and I climbed up the hilly embankment and walked along this dirt road (heading maybe toward what would have been west, if the original layout of the dream still held), which was higher than the ground we had come from. We didn't have to walk far before we came upon a construction crew of some sort. The men were busy doing different things and there was some sort of concrete (?) building ahead and slightly to the right. There might have been different equipment around too. It might have been their break as they seemed not to be doing much at the moment. They stared at us, but other than that rather ignored us as we approached. I got the feeling we weren't really wanted there.
I believe I approached one of the workmen--they were all wearing hardhats and seemed rather moody and quiet--and tried to ask about the picture, and what had become of the mountains--had they in fact removed them to make a road? I was simply curious, but I couldn't seem to get anyone to answer me--it was as if the mere act of asking was rude. I puzzled over this until one of the workmen, I think, took me by the arm and started leading me toward the concrete building. Dad and Dianne followed, though I'm not sure if their arms were taken too or if they were just kind of steered in the same direction. The man's grip on my lower arm was tight and it hurt somewhat; I bit my lip in a mixture of confusion and irritation, but didn't fight. We went through this building, through some unlit halls, and ended up in some sort of smallish back room with white walls and floor and bright lights and short little tables and chairs, like a really utilitarian daycare facility or something!
I can't think of any better way to describe it. The spare setting made it look as if it were meant for office work--white tile (?) floor, white brick (?) or concrete walls, bright fluorescent light, brown wooden tables and chairs, maybe cluttered with file cabinets and boxes and such. Very little color to be found. Yet the table and chairs we were led to were VERY short, as if meant for kindergartners or something! The man let go of my arm and I rubbed it in consternation. I don't remember seeing Dad or Dianne though I felt they, or at least Dianne, were still present. We sat at this little table (the doorway was kind of ahead of me or to my left, depending on where I was facing, and the room was not square--I think part of it jutted in to the right of the doorway, making it almost an L shape) and wondered what was going to happen.
This is where the dream gets vaguest, even though it was immediately before I woke up. I felt that the workmen were kind of angry with us being there, but I was angry too, about being treated almost like a criminal. All I'd wanted to do was ask some questions! What was wrong with that? As if to answer, a woman came into the room now. I can't remember her looks at all but I'm guessing she was smartly dressed, in a nice dress jacket and skirt; youngish, maybe in her thirties, and pretty. She practically screamed SOCIAL WORKER so that's what I'm guessing she was. I guess we were in some kind of trouble, and she was here to figure out why. She came to the table we were sitting at (maybe Dad was at another table?--I didn't see her, but I felt Dianne was to my left), and gave us something to work with, some sort of project which would help elucidate our psychological states, I guess.
And I'm afraid I can't remember exactly what it was. I'm pretty sure it involved two or more objects which were hollow or could fit over the arm or part of the body, like casts...and I think they were white...it's almost like I tried on two of them, maybe more, almost like a little child would mix and combine different shapes or fit them through holes...and perhaps there was some roleplaying involved. I also wrote down "age" so I think something had to do with somebody's age, maybe ours? Because this woman was trying to unobtrusively test us to see how well off we were. She was friendly, but I didn't completely trust her since I knew she'd been sent on behalf of the workmen, I didn't think there was anything wrong with me, and even though she was nice I knew she was just acting that way to elicit responses. I felt almost deceived by her, so I wasn't very open, even though I decided to go along with the tests or games or whatever. She wouldn't fool me into thinking this was all just in fun, when I knew she had a greater motive. Maybe she realized that I knew. I still had no idea what was going on, why we were even here!
I awoke sometime during this part, and even immediately afterward, it was, oddly enough, the first part of the dream that I remembered much more than the last.
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Date of dream: Tuesday, February 03, 2004
Level of Lucidity: N/A
Level of Cohesiveness:
Lucid Intent? No
This dream has been viewed 4241 times.
This is just a general dream snippet I remember from last night.
In it, it seemed to be late morning or early afternoon, overcast outside, and I went into the utility room (I seemed to be home alone) and noticed a pickup truck outside the windows on the side road. It might have been white with neon orange on it. I think I heard noises and I knew they had come to disconnect our cable for nonpayment! "Nuts!" I thought. Nobody was home but me, so the bill could not be paid at the door; we would have to be without cable for at least a few days, as they are very slow to come turn it back on even after they are paid. :(
Then I thought over the last time something had been disconnected for nonpayment, how I might have saved the day if I had only summoned up the courage to go to the door and pay the bill myself. Maybe I could do that now? Did I have enough money? I suspected the overdue bill would be around $100. I think I had about that much. But I had to hurry. So I ran to my room and started rifling through the various bills I had lying on my little stand where I keep my money in real life, and started picking them all up. A wad here, a bill there, they were all scattered rather than in one big wad, but I kept scooping them all up, hoping I had enough.
I gathered what surely must have been around $100, but then saw more money sitting there, and started picking that up as well. And picking more up. And picking MORE up. I was surprised by now--how much money DID I have here, after all? Surely more than $100! Maybe even as much as $300! I was impressed by my unexpected wealth--certainly I could pay that outstanding bill, and we would not be shut off. In real life I'm very phobic of answering the door or paying bills, but that fear was nowhere near as great as my annoyance at no cable would be in the dream, so I finally got all my scattered money in my hands and went running back out to the utility room...
...just in time to see the cable truck go driving off. I had spent SO much time gathering all my money to pay the bill that he had disconnected us, and gone on his way! I gawked at the departing truck and then yelled, "NUTS!" in frustration. >_<
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