'Sex & Statues,' Now On A&E!
Level of Lucidity: N/A Level of Cohesiveness:
Lucid Intent? No
This dream has been viewed 4339 times.
There was a strange, rather "dirty" (adult) show airing on A&E. So they showed a warning beforehand. A British man was listing what possibly offensive things might be said in the movie, and prime among them were some weird terms for the male and female genitalia. The one that I specifically remember (why did I have to remember??) was "hummer-hooter"--no, that was not what it sounds like, it meant the female genitalia or, in a pinch, a female herself. I can't remember the other terms used. Then he described a bit of the plot--"There will be a _____ (male/male genitalia) walking around, and there will be two hummer-hooters in a garbage can," etc. VERY weird. It seemed to be a play of some sort. This stuff was rather pervy when you were watching it, but for some reason it was "art" and not really meant to be funny...at least A&E seemed to think so...
Anyway, the play started; all the guys were dressed up like flowers, and the women, I can't remember what they were dressed up as, but one that they passed had a large mouth with lots of sharp teeth. (At first it was supposed to be a woman, but then it was just a costume or maybe a plant/prop.) But then the women looked more normal, perhaps they wore flower suits as well, with the petals framing their faces. Somehow their costumes were supposed to emphasize their gender and...uh...other aspects. At one point one of them or something else was sitting in a garbage can, so that's where that bit came from. But then it was two "hummer-hooters" walking down this street or alley. They came upon a little boy on a playground (everything was dim and in shades of brown, very dark brown sky, empty littered streets, etc.) and squealed over him. "He's so cute!!" one cried, and they fawned all over him; a man (perhaps not in a costume?) showed up and said to the women, "He's my son." For some reason this startled them, and they backed away, hands to their mouths. One of them was black, very pretty; but their costumes were ridiculous. A murder figured in here somewhere as well, possibly involving the boy, but I'm not sure how.
The TV show shifted now and had something to do with an important military/government official getting a statue of himself put up. It seemed to be in 1700s Britain or perhaps Colonial America. He was dressed old fashioned, wore his hair in the old style, and spoke with an accent. Very pompous guy, dark hair in a little tail, not ugly but not handsome either, kind of hawkish and rough looking; perhaps in his forties. He was talking to another guy about how he was going to have the statue put up--he'd earned it for his service to his country. He was excited about it and couldn't wait to see it. Something about somebody's son--this guy's?--figured in here, and this son was a prince--that would make this guy--or whoever the boy's father was--the king. I'm not sure whose son he was. But one of these men mentioned him. Now I think it was the dark-haired guy (the other guy was more of a commoner or servant, not dressed very well), the important guy, who was talking. He was a devout Christian, and as he spoke now he kept his hand upon a large Bible. He started--well, not ranting and raving, but getting a bit carried away, eyes going wild, speech getting excited. "Did you know," he said to the other man, "that there has ALREADY been a king named _____ George Bruce?"
Now--I'm not exact on that name. I know it was three names, and two of them were George and Bruce, not necessarily in that order. But I can't recall the third name. In any case, the "prince's" name was the same as another king who had ruled long ago, either in Scotland or England (probably the latter, even though Bruce is Scottish), and this guy was now insinuating that the fact that there was an EARLIER king with the same name as the prince (his son?) was a good thing, and presaged a good rule for the prince.
Conversion had something to do with this as well. This guy wanted to convert some "heathens" or something, but I can't recall who they were. Perhaps Indians (from India). He needed to convert these people (or perhaps the prince needed converting?) and he was resolved to do so. The "commoner" guy offered some sort of argument--he was much calmer and soft-spoken--that this might not be a good idea, can't recall what it was. I believe he asked why the guy was talking with his hand on the Bible, said that wasn't a good idea. The important guy, however, was so far along in his mind that he didn't even hear the argument. He WAS going to do what needed to be done.
He struck me as bit of a zealot.
Well, now they finally showed the statue being put up. It was sliding down on this long rope. That's it, they just hooked the whole thing to this rope and slid it down like it was descending a clothesline or something! It was outside in some kind of square or on a lawn, overcast, a large ugly white building nearby--I feel the rope came from the top of that building, down to the ground. The statue was of him on a horse--at first it was just gray, but then it seemed to be painted metal--and it finally slid down to the pedestal and perched itself in the middle. The guy came along and straightened it out a bit--it wasn't even heavy--and then stepped back proudly. The horse was now white, and stood with all four feet on the ground--meaning, he had not been killed (obviously!) or wounded in battle. But he was still somehow important enough to warrant a statue.
There was a crowd of people around and I don't recall if they cheered or not; they probably did. They just liked that there was a cause for celebration, not necessarily that he had gotten his own statue. But he was proud enough to pretend that they cheered solely for him.
Watching the proceedings was a woman--his wife?--kind of dowdy, wearing a frilly bonnet and dress, holding a baby...GOAT in her arms. She had a sort of Cockney accent or perhaps just a strong British accent, and was commenting on what was going on, but I can't remember what she said. She struck me as kind of ditzy and her clothing made it seem she should be getting ready for bed (though that's just my opinion). Didn't seem to be the right kind of wife at all for this guy. I just thought the GOAT was cute and went over to see it! It was very small, white or light gray, with horns and curly fur. It seemed bewildered, like, "What am I DOING here??" I was with a few people--Ma?--an old friend of mine?--and I started cooing over the cute little thing. We petted it and I stared into its eyes--I believe they were big and round and yellow, like coins--and started murmuring silly things. Somebody--the lady holding it?--asked me why I was staring at it like that. It kind of unnerved her that I showed so much interest in her pet.
But now the goat changed into Pepper, my cat, and I think that it was *I* who was holding her, seated in the backseat of an old car with the others (sitting beside me) petting her. In any case, her eyes were just as big and just as yellow. Now I think I may have been wondering why her eyes were so big and why people were staring at her like that.
