Pass The Buck
Level of Lucidity: N/A Level of Cohesiveness:
Rating:
Lucid Intent? No
This dream has been viewed 327 times.
I can't remember how it started. But I know where I was -- or at least, I know the general idea of what kind of place I was in. It was heavily forested and cold. I think it had just rained and things were sort of foggy. The town was small and I'm sure I didn't really acknowledge what place this was based on until I'd woken up: Forks, Washington.
I was living there with my mother and my little brother (which I do not have in real life). It seemed that I was a trouble maker in the dream. That I kept getting into trouble. I remember being so angry with my mother, though I think I adored my little brother, even if he was annoying. Our house was small, located in this little run down neighborhood. You know the kind, not cookie-cutter houses, but a street with character where each house had a personality all its own.
There was a tree in our front yard. I'm not sure why that's important, but it feels important.
It started in the basement, I think. The trouble. My trouble.
It was something in the dark, something I wasn't supposed to be doing. It felt like drugs, but I wasn't doing drugs. I was just doing something my mother didn't want, didn't approve of. It was something to do with Vampires, but I can't be sure what.
Have I mentioned it was cold? And kinda wet and rainy?
I was at that point, the point you reach when you're just so angry you start to cry. When you just burn out and you can't take it anymore and you just cave in on yourself. I was at the point where all I could feel was remorse. So I knocked on my mother's bedroom door and walked in. She was on the phone, or had just gotten off of it. I stood in her doorway and I think I had been crying. She looked up at me and I know she had been crying.
I apologized to her. A sort of "finally, I'm saying sorry for ruining your life, no matter how angry I always feel with you". I don't know if she was relieved, because what had been done was already done. She had spoken with my father. She was sending me away to live with him. For some reason I feel like he lived in the same town as we did, but this was different. It wasn't just moving -- I didn't mind that, it was natural to me -- but it was that this didn't feel like a "break period" this felt like "I don't want anything more to do with you". She was giving up on me.
Still, I accepted what she said, and I'm sure I even felt relief. I know I didn't get along with her. I know anger was a constant wherever she's concerned. My dad was already parked outside.
My room... was cluttered. There were clothes and notebooks strewn across the floor. There were posters covering my walls. My bed was squishy, old, lumpy and unmade. There were bags and things under my bed. A dresser was off to the side, and a large window with billowing curtains across from the door. It felt cozy, even if the rest of the house -- and my mother -- didn't. And I was going to miss that.
And then I was packing. Throwing things into a duffle bag -- clothes, books, papers -- Packing up my things to go and live with my father, because my mother just couldn't handle me anymore. I remember feeling both relieved and... sad. Like I was being shuffled around and neither actually wanted me. They were just dealing with me because I was their responsibility. Their mistake. I do remember I was going to miss my little brother. He was a blonde haired little boy who liked to play with... legos? And I think he hated me...
He lived in a mobile home, I think. There was something about getting breakfast and living in "separate places" even though I was living with him. And there was getting settled. And there was feeling completely alone.
Additional Comments:
As far as my interpretation goes with this, I think it's fairly obvious. I've had Twilight on the brain, so that is a major factor to consider, and further more I've been contemplating making a trip to Forks, WA. That explains most -- if not all -- of the Twilight-ish references and similarities.
As for the family matters, well, that's pretty easy to explain, too. Lately, I've felt a bit like a piece of luggage being shipped around between family members. I'm pretty much a failure at life and thus I tend to screw up. But I'm still family, so my parents feel obligated to take care of me. What I did think was weird, was that I had a little brother -- I have two brothers, both older.
Perhaps it's because my oldest brother acts a bit like a kid, instead of an adult. And he stays with my mother, which was where Dream Brother was. That may be a viable explanation. I'm not sure why he hated me though. Maybe I feel like I let down my brothers and that they do hate me now...
